Living Bold: A Story of Global Adventures and Lifelong Learning

Join Emily Bron as she interviews life coach Emily Rubin about finding a new life purpose after 50. Discover insights on life transitions, impactful questions, and retiring abroad in Oaxaca, Mexico.

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Introduction to the Age of Reinvention
01:57 Introducing Emily Rubin: Life Coach Extraordinaire
02:56 Emily Rubin’s Coaching Philosophy and Journey
11:46 Success Stories and Impact of Coaching
17:55 The Concept of Retirement and Reinvention
22:52 Emily Rubin’s Move to Oaxaca, Mexico
29:01 Exploring Oaxaca’s Artistic Heritage
30:04 The Culinary Delights of Oaxaca
31:26 Personal Journey to Oaxaca
33:17 Living in Oaxaca: Challenges and Rewards
35:20 Cultural Immersion and Expat Life
38:07 Navigating Daily Life in Oaxaca
40:26 Health Challenges and Adaptation
44:47 Building Community and Social Connections
53:58 Future Plans and Coaching Aspirations

Emily Bron: Hello, everyone. It’s me, Emily Bron host of the podcast, Age of Reinvention, how to discover freedom and new life purpose after 50. And today I have pleasure speaking, with Emily Rubin, Another Emily, who I was happy to know a couple of years ago through the online conversation. And today I would like to offer you to know Emily Rubin.

Emily Rubin is a certified professional life coach with 16 years of experience and a roster of clients around the world. She works with people who are truly committed to making changes in their lives. Her coaching style has been described as an iron fist velvet glove. I really like this impression.

Compassionate and direct. Her clients are primarily women in their fifties and older who are facing challenging transitions in their lives. And are ready to take a whole step. They’re making career changes or starting their new own businesses. They’re preparing to retire. or romantic relationship that need work or simply longing for something new and cannot figure out what it is.

Emily asks them powerful questions, listen to the emotions underlying their words, tell them exactly what she’s hearing, and together they create a roadmap for achieving goal. Emily was trained a certified professional Coactive coach by the Coactive Training Institute and holds a master’s degree in social work from the Hunter College School of Social Work.

In addition to her career and helping professionals, Emily has also worked in marketing and public relations as co operator and editor. She makes her editing skills available to her clients as needed. In the form of resumes, cover letters, and other communication based documents. Emily divides her time between New York City and Oaxaca, Mexico.

She can be reached via her website, emilyrubinlifecoaching. com or her Facebook group, Emily Rubin Life Coaching. Coaching. So don’t worry if you didn’t get exactly the website name or Facebook group, it will be included in the description below our conversation. And again good morning, Emily

Emily Rubin: good morning to you, Emily.

Thank you for having me. And I’m very excited to have this conversation.

Emily Bron: Thank you. And I was thinking, how we will so that the topics today I found area of questions because speaking about my podcast where I’m touching such questions as relocation after 50 career change retirement, upcoming or already.

For some people looking to what to do during this new stage of life actually you and what you’re doing ticking all these boxes, I would say, which, which relates to me my search, personal search in the past, my search of relocating abroad, and actually we selected the same country. Yes, we did.

Yes. So I’m already a temporary resident of Mexico. And we are exploring this new culture and country, huge one, like step by step. So we have a lot of things in common. And with all this, I’m very interested in your approach because you’re a professional coach and you are dealing with a woman in Mexico.

The same age group, actually helping them with the practical steps and tips and overcome some fears and get the client what to do next. Could you share more about your personal journey and what led you to co coaching? Was there a particular moment and events that helped you? You decided to pursue this

Emily Rubin: absolutely, i’m happy to I had a very long and Interesting and relatively successful career for many years working in public relations and marketing I worked for a number of big companies and as I Got promoted and kept moving up the ladder in that world I kept feeling like I was in one of those dreams that you have You Where you show up at school in your pajamas and you don’t really understand why That was very much how I felt about that phase of my career.

I was doing the work I was achieving success, but I didn’t really know what I was doing there And so in my 40s I, through a series of interesting personal life experiences and just interest in being of service, I went to graduate school for social work, which I absolutely loved. It was a wonderful experience for me going back to school in your forties and paying for it at that time in your life is very fulfilling.

I was really committed to it. I was working, I was going to school and it was wonderful. Graduated with my master’s in social work and realized that I hadn’t really quite yet found what I call my sweet spot. I studied community organizing, which is very macro, very, helping groups and working around large groups, but not with individuals.

And I didn’t want to be a therapist per se. And at that time in my life, I discovered the profession of life coaching, which is still relatively new. It’s not something that’s been around as certainly not as long as therapy. And I got myself a coach who was a wonderful coach and mentor to me, trained very in a very rigorous training program became certified as a coach and began my practice.

And in the beginning, like with any new profession, You work with almost anybody who wants to work with you. I worked with men. I worked with women. I worked with adults. I worked with young people and I discovered that really where my again, my sweet spot was working with women like me who were struggling with dealing with and Challenged by the same kinds of things.

What am I going to do next in my life? And they turned out to be women close in age to me who were, excuse me, I have the very bad Oaxaca cold that’s going around right now. So I will cough and I am drinking a lot of water. So bear with me if my voice. It’s okay. We will

Emily Bron: speak about

Emily Rubin: Oaxaca later. Yes. My favorite topics.

So I discovered that I, because of my life experiences and my challenges and my difficulty finding. The place that I wanted to be professionally. It took me a very long time. It took me until my 50s To find figure out what I truly wanted to do. I felt I found that I am a good Person for other people to talk to about these things.

I’ve it’s i’ve had very lived experience with What kind of work I want to do where do I want to live? Am I doing the right thing? What about if I take a pay cut? All of the questions that we ask ourselves. And so that’s essentially how I became a coach. It’s a profession that I adore. I have seen in my 16 years of coaching remarkable things happen.

I’ve seen a lot of very magical things happen to people through the coaching process. And one of the things I love the most about it Is that it’s a real opportunity and a real gift that a person gives. I’ll say herself, because most of my clients are women now that a woman gives herself to have space for thinking about things in a different way.

Having a trained professional, ask her very powerful questions. Listen in a very specific way, not only to the words that are being said. But to the emotions underlying the words to repeat back to the person what I as the coach am hearing to talk about that. And through this process, and a lot of the work actually happens between coaching sessions through this process helped my clients.

Develop some kind of a roadmap for what they want to do next. And the other thing I want to say about coaching and one of the reasons I love it so much is the accountability factor. When my clients start working with me, I explained to them very clearly. Your first priority is to be accountable to yourself.

You have made a commitment to invest in coaching. You have made a commitment to invest in figuring out how to. Get unstuck and move to the next place you want to be in your life Literally and figuratively and you’re also accountable to me because I give homework assignments I don’t believe it’s enough to just talk the talk You’ve got to walk the talk and I give very specific homework assignments that are very focused on How this person wants to proceed?

And we talk about the homework assignments in the course of our coaching session And if the person is truly serious about it, they will be accountable. As I said to themselves first, and to me as well, to complete the assignments and to then move forward. A lot of people don’t do the homework.

It doesn’t mean coaching is not successful, but I have found that the accountability piece within the context of assignments has been the thing that has been the most powerful for moving people forward and I think it’s, as I said, I’ve seen very Magical things happen when people have taken the coaching seriously and really put their heart and their soul into it.

Emily Bron: It’s very interesting and I’m looking to dive a little bit deeper. As a life coach, you presumably have the opportunity to change lives. Could you tell us about the time when you felt that you made the right decision? Significant impact on somebody’s life.

Emily Rubin: Absolutely. There’s one story that I love to share and it’s just very meaningful to me.

I was working with a Chinese woman who was living in China. Let me tell you time differences are a big challenge when you’re working with someone in Asia. We both had to be very flexible about the timing of our calls, but She was a woman who had a very successful career in China. In advertising she was living in beijing.

She was married. She had two young children very successful Very unhappy. She hated what she was doing and she had a dream of starting a program to teach chinese children english not only because she was herself fluent in english She had studied in the united states and worked in the united states and her english was perfect She also had these young sons You for whom learning English was going to be a very important part of their school education experience.

And she felt that she really had a dream to be a teacher that she had never manifested before. And so through our coaching process, this woman kept working during the day, began to research, opening up, Her own school, very small program. Initially she started in her home, in her living room on the weekends with children who were either neighbors or children or friends of hers.

And over the course of our coaching, she eventually took a private space and she has since developed a thriving program of teaching with a whole lineup of teachers to help Chinese children learn English in a way that was meaningful and fun. She was continuing to work. She was a mother. She was a wife.

She was running the second business out of her home. And she nurtured it like she would a third child. And it has subsequently become a very successful endeavor for her. And she’s happy. I haven’t, Coach her in a while, but we stay in touch and I hear about all her achievements. And to me, that is magic.

When you have this dream inside of your head that maybe you’ve never stared to speak aloud, or you have spoken about it, but you just don’t think it’s ever going to be possible. And to see it come true. is remarkable.

Emily Bron: I really like this story. I’m wondering how long and how many sessions she was working with you because I understand the transformation should take time.

Emily Rubin: Yes, absolutely. She and I worked together for quite a while. Probably I would say maybe a year. I offer my clients packages where they can work with me long term short term I will not work with anyone for less than three months because I don’t Have weekly calls because I don’t believe the transformation on that level can happen in less than three months like the old saying, you can’t change a habit in less than a month I think coaching isn’t going to be as impactful in less than three months.

So that’s my minimum. And of course, I’m always, I have one client who I continue to work with. She was my, one of my first clients during my training. And that was quite a while ago and we continue to coach because she really appreciates a weekly check in. Our sessions are short because it is such a frequency, but.

It’s like I’m keeping a record of her life and her achievements and a big part of coaching is being a cheerleader for your clients, and supporting them and encouraging them and reminding them when they’re having, for example, a difficult day. Remember a year ago when you didn’t even think that such and such a thing was possible or even on the horizon and look what you’ve done.

So a lot of it is about cheerleading for your clients, supporting them when they feel they don’t have they’re feeling depleted. They don’t have the energy to push forward and to really maintain a record of their progress as you work together because that can be very Helpful and very exciting for someone who’s feeling down in the dumps and suddenly says, yeah, I quit that job that I hated I left that Excuse me.

I left that relationship. I Did make that big move to another country. I did have that challenging conversation With a family member that has changed the nature of our of how we experience each other So yes, it is a process everybody’s time frame within the context of coaching is different.

That’s also part of the fun of it is you get to work with somebody and at the end of a designated period, look back and say, wow, you really made some stuff happen in your life. I’m really proud of you. And I hope more importantly, that you’re really proud of you.

Emily Bron: And I think of those, So you develop relationship with this person and yes, and obviously even after transformation period and people need support because we have different days and sometimes we have concerns about, if we are moving in the correct direction, even we know inside that it is what we achieve.

So I believe that converting relationship, it’s still professional, but to the personal relationship, it’s very important for us.

Emily Rubin: I check in with my clients, I stay in touch with them. They often refer friends and family members to me, which is of course wonderful. I have my own coach with whom I have A coaching relationship, and she’s also been really great about checking in with me, particularly during this process, which I know we will get to of my having finally made a move to Mexico, which is something I’ve dreamed of for a very long time.

So yes, a coach takes on a number of roles in a person’s life if that’s what the client wants.

Emily Bron: Again, thinking about freedom and purpose post 50 as a personal topic for many of us and as a topic of my podcast I’m really curious what is your view of how do freedom and purpose take a new meaning after 50?

Especially when embarking on retirement.

Emily Rubin: Absolutely. It’s so interesting. It’s been such a fascinating process. I have found amongst my women friends, whether they’re married, whether they’re single there are, this is a joke, but it’s not. There are five things we talk about when we hit our sixties.

We talk about when to take social security. We talk about, Oh my God, I’m going to have to deal with the challenges of medicare and the different parts i’m gonna have to buy We talk about knee and hip surgery We talk about lack of sleep and we talk about memory issues And I sometimes will share this with people that these are the things that I hear all the time Both in my personal life and my professional life and ha but it’s not funny It’s true and it speaks to a certain fear.

We have You About the future and about our health and about our financial well being And about our physical issues, memory loss is very freaky and certainly even the memory loss that is natural part of the aging process can be very frightening So yes, these are all topics that In some way, shape or form relate.

I don’t, I, it’s funny, Emily. I don’t know that I want to use the word retirement. I really don’t like that word. I myself, I’m not retired. I continue to work. I have friends who have stopped working in a professional capacity and don’t consider themselves.

Emily Bron: Just a moment for me, retirement, I really find meaning of this word for me, retirement.

It’s the best Page of your life chapter of your life when you retire from before you know probably professions that you didn’t like it was in my case in case of many your clients you retire from Life, which was before in your responsibilities Just shooting like you were You’re still a mother, but you’ve had a lot of responsibilities of raising your children helping your parents.

It’s probably still part of your life. But for me, it’s just new opportunities. That’s why I’m speaking about. Age of reinvention, it’s retirement from the past life and opening and development of something new that now it’s your time to You know implement your dreams to develop your talents.

You didn’t have time and opportunities before it’s what retirement for me

Emily Rubin: I understand completely and i’m in complete accord with you about The philosophy you’re talking about what it is. I just find that the word is very rich, is very triggering. So I love the idea of using the word reinvention as a placement for the word retirement.

That’s what I’m saying. I find, my friends get very triggered when that word pops into conversation. And one of the things that I’m about to embark on is I’m going to create a small virtual Workshop for women, a group, small group to talk about this next phase of life.

And I’m looking for phrases to use, to help me talk about this. And reinvention is certainly one of those words. The other word that I particularly like that I’ve heard people say is instead of retirement, they say re firemen. And I don’t know if you’ve heard that word, but I think that’s also a really fun and very evocative way to talk about this next.

life. When you do have the freedom, in some cases, to not have to be working anymore, you choose not to be able to do some traveling, to be able to do the things that you maybe didn’t have time for in the past. So I believe wholeheartedly in the concept. I’m just not crazy about the word. It has a connotation that a lot of people I know find uncomfortable.

Emily Bron: And that’s why I’m using this word as well, even for different definition, because I believe, and I’m trying to explain, people still used to this word, but With the time and this conversation we have, it will get different meaning and new fire and new purpose. But since it’s a keyword, I would say we still need to use it.

And I hope that eventually for many people who would connect with us mentally and emotionally.

Emily Rubin: It’s interesting. As you’re talking, I’m thinking a little bit about a couple of challenges that I have faced, as have my clients, as have my friends.

Ageism. It’s real. It exists. One of the things that I have found is it has existed in my professional life, but I have not let it hold me back in my personal aspirations. I’ll use, if you don’t mind now, I can segue a little bit into talking about my decision to live in Mexico.

Emily Bron: Absolutely. And my next topic.

Emily Rubin: Great. I’ve been coming to a the city in Southern Mexico called Oaxaca. Great. Since the mid 1990s, in fact, a friend of mine who I first came with, she reminded me that we visited for the first time in 1995. From the minute I arrived here, I felt on some level like I had come home.

It was inexplicable, it was deep, and it was Very powerful and I have been From that year until a couple of years ago been coming back on vacations as often as I could and I’d probably i’d say between 1995 and 1920 1922 2022 I’ve been here 20 times And in 2022 I decided It was time because it was, of course, pandemic time enabled us to work virtually.

We learned that it was possible. And as a, as both a coach and an editor I was able to do all of my work virtually. So I decided to come and live in Oaxaca for originally for two months. Two months turned into three months, and three months turned into four months. And I then made a commitment that this was something that, a seed that I had planted for a long term life here, and I wanted to continue to nurture it and grow it.

So I came back again in 2023. And I stayed, decided I would stay for six months. And it was an interesting trip because during that trip, I was staying in different places. I wanted to move around the city and live in different neighborhoods to get to know other parts of the city. And during that time, a friend said to me, Emily, I’ve heard about a great apartment.

It’s available for rent. It’s in a cool neighborhood. It’s very reasonably priced. It’s very safe part of the city. Why don’t you check it out? I of course did. And I took the lease and I am now living in my own apartment in Oaxaca. So I, when I came back in 2024 for six months, I arrived in the beginning of February and I’m living in my home, which is quite wonderful.

I am having a lot of thoughts about. Whether or not this will be a permanent space for me. I’m not ready to leave New York City yet. New York City is wonderful and thrilling. And it’s been my home my entire adult life. And I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. And I’m very fortunate that because this apartment in Oaxaca is so reasonably priced for the foreseeable future, I’m able and very lucky and have worked very hard to make these things happen.

these two lives possible. And that’s been really quite wonderful. But as I said, Oaxaca has always been where my eyes have always been on this prize of getting to be here and getting to live here and getting to really deepen my relationship with this culture, this country, and this part of the world.

So I feel very fortunate and I’ve worked very hard to make it happen. No joke there. But it’s been great.

Emily Bron: Tell me please, what exactly why you felt at home? Could you analyze as even back years, what exactly from this particular place, actually Mexico, but this particular place, which provided you this feeling?

Emily Rubin: Yeah, it’s interesting you’re saying that because there are certain places that are real magnets for Americans and Canadians. Oaxaca is becoming more but it’s certainly not like San Miguel de Allende or certain places around Guatemala Guadalajara, Ajijic. And other places that have very large, very well established communities of, and I’m not going to say expats, that’s another very controversial word, because if we are coming to another country to live here, we are migrants. We are just like the people who are trying to come to, or immigrants, just like people who are trying to come to the United States.

In my learning about living in Mexico, I have discovered that both the Mexicans and the Americans and Canadians primarily who live here find expat to be a somewhat offensive term. It’s a bit of a surprise to me, but it makes sense when you think about it, it’s a term of privilege because what makes us.

An expat and what makes people who are born to come live in the United States migrants or immigrants,

Emily Bron: so Just the point migrants and people who come in for work temporarily, which is not Like to work only sometimes they live for years particular point which interests them in this or as country. I like consider myself immigrant.

Even I’m living 27 years in Canada, immigrant it’s something else when you come to but in regards to retirees or the americans and Canadians coming actually to live, not to work. We can work, but to enjoy the life. And, because it’s a media developed term, even it’s more legal, expat.

I found it’s more correct. But I understand your point. Even I would not consider myself migrant to Mexico, but yes, it depends how people look at things. I didn’t find this offensive. It’s interesting that people being in Mexico think it’s offensive.

Emily Rubin: Yes, it comes up quite a bit on some of the groups on social media that are based, for people who are based in different parts of Oaxaca.

But back to your original question, what I love about Oaxaca, what I find magical about Oaxaca is that The culture is very old, and it has been retained, and it has, it remains alive. It is not a culture that is on show for tourists. It is a culture that is based very deeply in tradition, in family. Artistic designs that are thousands and thousands of years old that are on the walls of some of the many ruins around Oaxaca that people go to visit.

It is a culture of food and family and kindness and warmth. You can say that about But what is also truly unique about Oaxaca, in my opinion, is the artistic history and tradition. The city proper is surrounded by many small villages, each of which often has its own specialty in terms of artisanship.

There’s the village where the rug weavers weave rugs. There’s the black pottery village. There’s the village where there are unbelievably talented artisans who craft and paint these wooden animals and creatures and sculptures. There’s the green pottery village. It’s just a remarkable place and has always been a real magnet.

for people who are interested in art and craft and that kind of beauty. And then there’s the food, of course, it’s Oaxaca is where, the two big M’s, Mezcal and Mole. Mezcal is obviously a booming industry and it is where, and Oaxaca is its home base. This is where mezcal was created and continues to be manufactured.

Oaxaca is also known as the land of the seven moles. There’s supposed to be seven classic types of mole, which is a wonderful, it’s a stand in word for type of a sauce. That’s very basic. There are probably many other ways that are more sophisticated of describing mole, but. Mole is a fundamental underpinning of Mexican and Oaxacan cooking, and it is very labor intensive.

I’ve taken a cooking class in how to make mole. I practically cried because it was so difficult. It takes hours and in some cases several days. But it is, it’s just a place where history is very alive. It doesn’t feel, like it’s, as I said, put, put on for the tourists. And, tourism is, the biggest industry in the city of Oaxaca.

I can’t speak to the state because it’s a very agricultural state, but certainly in the city of Oaxaca, tourism is the biggest moneymaker and these wonderful attributes are the things that people come here to see and It’s funny. I didn’t even know, I, I saw back in the nineties, I was reading a travel magazine and I saw this word and it was O A X A C A.

And I got very curious about the word because it’s such a strange spelling and the pronunciation is not what you would think. And I started to dig a little deeper and dig a little deeper. And ultimately I had my first trip here. I came in March of 1995. I loved it so much that I came back for Christmas.

It’s of 1995. I’ve been here for all of the major holidays. There are four events of the year that are huge crowd drawers to Oaxaca. One is the Day of the Dead, which is in the fall. It is not Halloween and I won’t go into that, but it’s a beautiful holiday. There is Easter, which is at the start of Holy Week.

And I woke up this morning and I live a few blocks from a church and I could hear beautiful singing.

Emily Bron: It’s a palm sunday today.

Emily Rubin: Exactly, and I heard people, In the church singing this morning, which was such a lovely way to start my day. And the other two important festivals are Christmas, which is just so beautifully celebrated here.

They’re the whole month of December is filled with parades and, it’s a very spiritual time, but it’s also, it’s Christmas. It’s wonderful. And the final one is a. Holiday that is unique to Oaxaca, which is called the Gala Getse, and it’s held the last two weekends of July, and it’s a celebration where there are eight regions of Oaxaca and each region has specific dances that are unique to that area.

The different dance groups from all over the state of Oaxaca come to the city and perform their dances and it’s magnificent. So those are the four main big events. I have been lucky to have been here for all of them and it’s just it’s a vibrant vital engaging place and I will also say that no matter how many times I’ve been here even living here.

I always find something new. I learn something new, whether it’s a ritual that’s being offered, or it’s a town that has some really interesting museum that I didn’t know about, or whatever. There’s always something new and different to do here. I sound like a commercial, but I truly believe that I have found, to use the word for the third time in our conversation, I have found truly my sweet spot.

And that’s not to say there aren’t a number of challenges. Oaxaca, like the rest of Mexico and the rest of the world, is currently going through a very significant water crisis. Very challenging thing to balance out the need for tourism with the very serious lack of, not lack of, but the water crisis and need to be much more conservative with water usage.

There’s a lot of challenges here. There are a lot of things I will never understand because it is not my native culture, but I am learning every day. And I am very glad to say that I have some wonderful Mexican friends as well as my other Americans and Canadians who live here. It’s a very easy place to make friends.

There are a lot of opportunities for socializing, and it’s not perfect. And living here in an apartment as a tenant is a very different experience than how I have come in the past. Even when I’ve stayed in a long term apartment rental, I’ve still been spared the basics of life having to do with making sure your garbage goes out.

on the day that the garbage pickup comes. And if the garbage pickup doesn’t happen, what do you do? And, all of the day to day challenges of life in another country, but they’re trade offs that I’m happy to make, at least for now.

Emily Bron: So I can define, listening to you, that what actually attracted you to this place, it’s cultural immersion and all opportunities which this City is offers in this regard and I know about special artistic and cultural Taste of this place.

I know that why it attracts so many artists people creative people to this city and even like the definition what we touched before about expat versus migrant Which the first time I hear at least from person of you know our age group like I understand how it’s different from San Miguel de Allende Because over there it’s cultural place as well And they advertise San Miguel de Allende known as a cultural place but it’s more like western culture.

What I like about Mexico, it’s different options. Its opportunities to find actual place which resonates with you and I

like after visiting San Miguel de Allende, for example, I like it, but I don’t want to live there. It’s not my place. Sometimes you feel it’s your place, and sometimes you just, you like it, you understand that it’s good to visit, but it’s not your place. And Mexico offering with variety of states and cultures even.

which are historically lived on such a big territory, offering different places with different lifestyles. And yes, you need, if you’re lucky as you were 95, like to land in this place and immediately feel that it’s your home. And for some people, they need time and actually travel if they incline to find this, connection, internal connection.

To find the place which speaks to the soul.

Emily Rubin: And that’s where your services are so helpful in terms of helping people understand. This is a very large country. There are, all kinds of climates, all kinds of geography, all kinds of people, all kinds of traditions. And you have to find the place that’s right for you.

And it’s funny what you were saying about San Miguel de Allende. I have some very dear friends who live there, but I feel like they basically took their lives in the United States, picked it up. And moved it and dropped it down and they live in and I this isn’t even They live in a bubble, you know A lot of them have filtered water so that they are able to drink the tap water in oaxaca.

That is very rare You we don’t Drink from the tap. And that’s true in a lot of Mexico. We buy these very large plastic containers of water or garafones and the tap water is for washing dishes and for washing your body, but it is not drinkable. So there are, there are a lot of things that are about living in Oaxaca that are very Mexican.

And that’s also for, if you’re a person who’s looking for living at a hundred percent American comforts. This is probably not the place for you. It’s a very self selecting kind of a place. It’s for people who want a different experience of Mexico than just simply transplanting themselves from their comforts of the United States to their comforts in Mexico.

And that’s what I find so exciting about it as well, is that, I am adapting, I am adjusting, I have to, and I find I’m sometimes challenged and sometimes I find it really easy. I I don’t wear very much makeup which is different, maybe than how I lived in New York and the cost of living, I can go to one of the local markets and buy fresh fruits and vegetables, a huge, massive quantity and.

It’s very inexpensive. Of course, then I have to bring it home, and I have to put it in tap water, and add some disinfectant to it before I eat it. Fruits and vegetables need to be protected, and that’s another difference between the United States and here. But it’s, again, it’s part of the life, and it’s part of what makes it what it is.

So unique to me.

Emily Bron: I think this small new habits you mentioned and actually after the same in curator, which is not too far from sending me earlier. That’s why I know that you need to wash and what you need to add to the fruits and vegetables. It’s interesting for me. It’s interesting in the beginning, but after then it’s okay.

It’s I don’t find and I believe it’s better than Oh, whatever we buy because first of all, it’s organic food which like they even don’t have such, they have such a term And they just we are how people are living and they’re trying adjusting and they have a good life local people and i’m just wondering rather than what you mentioned so far, you mentioned several interesting like local points lesson learned, what has been one of the most surprising lessons you learned since you live in part time in Mexico?

Emily Rubin: Wow. That’s a really interesting question because I’m going through a challenging time right now. And I’m going to be completely transparent about it. When I left New York to come down to Oaxaca in the beginning of February, I came down with a slight respiratory infection. It wasn’t serious.

It’s the kind of thing in New York you take some, mucinex and you sleep a lot and it goes away. I’m in Oaxaca. It is the. hot season. Heat usually starts in April and May, but it came early this year. It has been very hot. It has been very dry. It is not yet the rainy season, so the air is quite dusty.

And I have had such a difficult time. I’ve been sick for about five, six weeks now. I’ve been sick more than I’ve been healthy since I’ve been back in Oaxaca. And I am really concerned about it to the point where I am considering coming back to the States for a couple of weeks just to get into a different climate and try to get this respiratory infection out of my system.

That’s been a big challenge. Now, the good news is there are wonderful doctors here, and they are, the healthcare has been, in my experience, over many years of visiting here, quite good. This is more, I think, of an environmental issue than it is a specifically a health issue. The kind of health care services that I’ve received issue but it is challenging to live here if you’re not accustomed to the heat, which is intense and will continue to be.

It’s, we’re at the peak now, which doesn’t usually of the heat, which doesn’t usually happen, as I said, until April and May. And in fact, a lot of the Americans and Canadians who live here will go away. During the hot season because it is so hot here. So that’s been a big challenge for me to adjust to I love the four seasons.

I like winter I like being chilly a couple of months of the year and all the other benefits that come with living in a Four season part of the united states as I do So that’s been very challenging for me. I was told that it would be difficult to make Mexican friends. Fortunately, I’ve been able to do but that can be challenging too.

I remember being here at Christmas time. I was with a friend and this was pre peak tourism. Peak tourism really started to happen in the mid 2000s. But this was in the nineties and the city shuts down for Christmas. And if you’re here and you’re staying at a hotel and the restaurants are closed and the museums are closed and, people are with their families, it can feel a little isolating.

This and just being in a foreign country in general, whether it’s a holiday or not, can be, Challenging and I think it takes a certain amount of courage and Willingness to try think to be on your own more than maybe you’re normally comfortable with I think that’s I love My time alone. I feel very lucky I’m, not somebody who has a problem eating in a restaurant by myself if I want to do something And I don’t have someone to do it with that doesn’t stop me But there are some people that it’s very difficult for and that can be a real challenge as well thankfully there are wonderful things like zoom and You have the ability to have face to face conversations with your friends and family that were not possible in the past But it can still get challenging and lonely and I am always going to be home for thanksgiving no matter What, where I, what part of my time in Oaxaca, it falls into, I’m always going to come home for Thanksgiving.

It’s my favorite holiday. And it’s when I get to see my family and friends, without question. So I think the rhythm of learning to live in another country is a process. It can be challenging. It can be exciting. As I said, you learn new things, you meet new people, but I don’t want to sugar coat it.

There are things that are different and you have to have enormous patience. You have to have the ability to not overreact, which can be for this high strung New Yorker sometimes can be a little tough for me. Yeah, there’s definitely things that I’ve had to think and rethink as I have. Spent more and more time here.

Emily Bron: But as far as I know and you mentioned there are more expat or migrants group like social clubs like over the years and with more and more people coming to Oaxaca and any other place so how these groups are supporting because it’s people actually in the same boat speaking about being out of family during the holiday times And holiday, yeah, I understand it’s not only two days, it can be two weeks in Mexico, Christmas time with family.

But I think after people learn about it, there’s opportunity for these groups to unite together and to have, I don’t know, good time together. To have, to create new, if not family, but circle of friends.

Emily Rubin: There are people who consider their friends here, their, the family they choose. I am very lucky to live in a city that has an incredible resource, which is called the Oaxaca Lending Library.

It started originally a number of years ago as simply a library, a place for both Americans, Canadians, and Mexicans to come and meet each other, and they have created all kinds of what they call intercombios, which are separate. Small groups where you speak in each other’s language to help each other.

And it has grown and evolved to be a huge resource in the community. They run trips and hikes and they create opportunities. When I was here last year for the 4th of July, There was a 4th of July picnic. They get together for Christmas, for Thanksgiving. There are voting drives that happen that are generated out of the library.

There are many opportunities for socializing. There are bridge groups and knitting groups and all the things you’re talking about that enable you to create connections to other people and to have some really amazing experiences. They run some day trips that have been just remarkable. I do feel very lucky and I’m sure other large cities in Mexico or midsize cities have similar resources.

This is the one that I know and I get to benefit from and it’s been a huge help. Even if you’re just feeling like a little bored or lonely and you want to go pop into the library and get a book, and chat with somebody and buy a cup of coffee. It’s a real social center and it is enormously helpful.

Emily Bron: I really like it as a book lover myself. And actually I visited the San Miguel de Allende library, like very historical place. It’s actually a club for the people who, you know, about the culture and about communication. And there’s, Similar library as a center, English with English speaking people and books in Mérida, like in different centers, which became center of this cultural life.

And I really like this aspect of life in Mexico because, again, there’s opportunity to live with locals, as local, but to communicate and find your circle of interest. Through such resources, as you say as a library, as we going again to the topic of our conversation of what you would advise for aspiring retirees or say people after 50 who are looking for a location abroad.

It may be, might be Mexico, which we are. Very like to discuss for hours. It might be different places. They choose to. So what advice do you give individuals looking to retire abroad based on your own experience?

Emily Rubin: It’s funny as you’re talking, I’m thinking about The hot spots right now, there are a couple of places in the world that everybody’s talking about Portugal being one Ecuador and Costa Rica being places all over the world.

I think, I was lucky. I have to say this. I was lucky. I have a lot of female friends who are single, who are on the brink of retirement. And who don’t have any clue what they’re going to go. They don’t want to stay in New York because it’s expensive or they’re done with New York or whatever. And they don’t know where to go.

So on the one hand, I feel very lucky. This happened to me in a very organic way, but I think if we’re really trying to figure out where you want to go next, the only thing you can do is just get up and go and start exploring and not to go with the tourist mindset, but to go with the mindset of maybe, You settle yourself in a particular part of a city.

I’ll use Portugal as an example. You go to Lisbon, you settle yourself into a particular neighborhood. You get to know the neighborhood. You figure out where the locals shop for their food. You figure out where the the tailor is. Any of the services that you might use in your life in the United States.

You find them you find your fishmonger and you start saying good morning

Emily Bron: I’m, sorry. It’s what i’m speaking about. You need to understand the country if you have time to visit to different places and

Emily Rubin: yes, absolutely. I think that’s You know, you’re right to bring it up. I guess I just made assumptions you certainly if you’re going to move to a place you certainly need a basic fundamental course In how to communicate there’s no question you miss so much if you can’t I am so frustrated I’ve been taking spanish for a long time now.

I am so not good at it So not good at it for some reason it has really been a challenge for me But I stay with it and I plug at it and I speak to Mexicans and they are appreciative of my efforts and they kindly correct me the language is an essential It’s an essential and I guess maybe that’s something you factor in you don’t move to france If you spent your entire life maybe studying Spanish I don’t know, I did, I’m not in that position, but, I think there’s a certain amount of dreaming coupled with very practical, real, realistic aspects of life in another country.

And everybody’s on their own journey and figuring it out for themselves. I mean, You can certainly speak to, the most important things for you. About figuring out where to go far better than I could I can only speak to my very Specific journey and experience in Oaxaca and they are inordinately patient with me and my spanish I can’t conjugate past tense or future tense So when I talk about the future I kind of point forward when I talk about the past I go like that and people manage to understand me and smile and laugh And and, I’m trying, but it’s, it is a big challenge and it can be for most people when you’re trying to integrate into a new culture.

Emily Bron: That’s why I’m telling that for people for this age group, it’s very important to navigate to the countries and places where there’s already community. Because that’s the first step. Couple of years it may be even of adaptation, adjustment to the new culture actually your fellow expats It’s the first help you can get like advice is where to go what to do which Sometimes locals they helpful as well.

And I very appreciate mexicans with their open heart towards foreigners, actually. But that’s why I believe Mexico attracts so many Canadians, Americans, and not only. Because of this kind of environment and opportunities to find, both communities and help. At the beginning, which still requires specifically for a single woman.

Emily Rubin: It’s funny, as you’re talking, I’m smiling because when I arrived here two years ago for my, it’s supposed to be two months, and turned into four months stay I found a godmother who lived next door to me, this lady who lives in the hotel where I was staying. She’s the character of Eloise at the plaza.

She lives in the hotel, she’s the only person who does. She is in her eighties, she is as Active and as feisty and as engaged and as creative as anyone I’ve ever met and she really was like a godmother to me because she taught me where to go get the best coffee, what foot doctor to go see, a physiotherapist the restaurant that nobody knows that, hardly any Americans know about all those kind of insidery things.

And you’re absolutely right. I didn’t recall that until you said it. specifically said, there’s a community of people ahead of you that can be very helpful resources. And maybe one of the tricks is to, before you make a trip to another country, you try to connect with those people in advance through various.

Social media groups. I’ve done that. I’ve reached out to, women living in Oaxaca before I’ve made long term trips here and said, Hey, I’m coming to Oaxaca. I’d love to take you for a cup of coffee and pick your brain. I made one of my closest friends that way. And, do your lead work ahead of time as much as you can.

Like I said, sometimes the hardest part is that going out to dinner by yourself when you first get to a new place. It can be very challenging. Find somebody and say, Hey, I’ll take you to dinner in exchange for, some of your information about this place and your thoughts and your opinions.

So there are ways to make things a little bit easier and a little more seamless.

Emily Bron: So as someone who has successfully navigated significant life transition and help others, how do you envision your coming years? What is your vision for the future? If we can not only dream, envision something and other any projects and goals, you are particularly excited about?

Emily Rubin: Absolutely. I guess my fantasy Is that I will be able to for as long as possible maintain two Residences in the world. I’m not done with New York. I should be told I liked that energy and that And I still think of New York at this point as home, although Oaxaca is creeping up quite quickly to being my home.

So my fantasy hope is that I am able to maintain these two homes and to have the freedom and flexibility and income to be able to go back and forth between the two because my work can be done from anywhere. So that’s the fantasy. I hope it’s a reality. I expect, to as much as I possibly can.

If I have to make some hard choices in the future about one or the other, I will do but I’m not there yet. I’m still enjoying my freedom right now. As far as my future projects, I’m really excited about this. virtual coaching group I’m putting together. I am going, I’m in the process of preparing the curriculum, which is a very broad word for the topics that I think will be most interesting.

I’m getting a lot of really good feedback and, ideas from women, friends, and people. People who would be ideal candidates for something like this. I’d love for your listeners to reach out to me and ask me questions about it or offer suggestions. The thing about coaching is it’s a co active experience and it’s not just, I’m not the expert in your life.

You are the expert in your life as a coach. I am coactively creating something with you based on the skills I can bring and the material that is you that we shape and mold and remold and turn into what you want it to be. So when I use the word curriculum, it sounds a little too structured, but it’s going to be conversations with women in all different stages of their lives.

And. The ability to share with each other from our experiences is very exciting to me. And I think that’s where the real learning happens is from hearing about what other people have done and to learn from their successes and their mistakes. Quote unquote, nothing is a mistake. I think everything does happen for a reason and I’m really excited about it.

So again, I’d like to encourage your listeners to come to my Join Facebook group where I talk about it and I’m starting to really put it together. Emily Ruben Life Coaching or email me at Emily@emilyrubinlifecoaching.com Because I, I want to hear from people who might be interested. I want to hear ideas. I want to hear what people want and what they don’t want.

This is a, a collaboration between me and hopefully what will become a very important community for myself and for other women.

Emily Bron: Thank you very much emily, I wish all your dreams come true and I know that you’re working in this direction and I really enjoyed our conversation So today we’ve had conversation With emily rubin.

Thank you emily.

Emily Rubin: Thank you very much. Emily. I appreciate the opportunity

Emily Rubin

Life Coaching for People in Transition

Meet Emily Rubin, a certified life coach with over 11 years of experience empowering individuals to reach their fullest potential. Alongside her coaching practice, Emily has dedicated her skills to various impactful roles. As a Grant Writer for New Destiny Housing Corporation for nine years, she played a pivotal role in securing resources for vulnerable populations. Prior to that, she served as Member Services Manager at the Supportive Housing Network of New York, where she honed her expertise in fostering supportive communities. Emily’s commitment to social impact led her to consultancy roles with organizations such as The International Institute of New Jersey and prominent media outlets like the Wall Street Journal and The Village Voice. With over three decades of experience in promotion and management, Emily brings a wealth of knowledge and passion to her coaching practice, helping individuals navigate life’s challenges with resilience and purpose.

Living Boldly: International Journey of Discovery, Adventure, and Lifelong Learning

In the ever-evolving journey of life, finding freedom and purpose beyond the age of 50 can seem like a daunting task. Yet, it’s a challenge that many embrace with open arms, seeking to reinvent themselves in ways that bring joy, fulfillment, and a sense of achievement. This transformational voyage is beautifully encapsulated in the experiences of a certified professional life coach who has dedicated her career to helping individuals navigate the delicate nuances of major life transitions. Through a powerful conversation, she shares insights into her own path of self-discovery, the essence of her coaching philosophy, and the impact it has had on her clients’ lives.

A Life Coach’s Mission to Empower

With over 16 years of experience, this life coach has sculpted a career centered around empowering primarily women in their fifties and beyond who find themselves at life’s crossroads. Be it a career change, the onset of retirement, or the pursuit of unfulfilled dreams, her coaching is characterized by a compassionate yet direct approach, helping clients to forge a path towards their goals with clarity and confidence.

The Journey of Reinvention

Her own journey is a testament to the power of reinvention. Despite a successful career in public relations and marketing, a sense of fulfillment eluded her until a personal quest for meaning led her to return to school in her forties. It was here that she found her calling in life coaching—a profession that married her desire to assist others on an individual level with her knack for asking thought-provoking questions and listening intently. Her approach has been transformative for her clients, guiding them through personal milestones with a blend of accountability, encouragement, and strategic goal-setting.

Impactful Moments

One particularly poignant story shared during the conversation was that of a client living in China who dreamed of teaching English to children. Through their coaching sessions, the client was able to actualize this dream, eventually opening her own successful teaching program. Such stories underscore the life-altering impact of dedicated coaching and serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone standing at the precipice of change, hesitant to take the leap.

Exploring New Horizons: Life in Oaxaca

The conversation also ventures into a personal narrative of relocating part-time to Oaxaca, Mexico—a move inspired by years of visits and a deep connection to the city’s rich artistic and cultural fabric. This life coach’s experiences in adapting to a foreign culture, including the joys and challenges of immersion, provide valuable insights for those considering a similar path. It illustrates that, with curiosity and open-heartedness, finding a place that resonates with one’s soul is possible at any stage of life.

Wisdom for Aspiring Retirees

For those contemplating retirement or a move abroad, her advice is clear: explore, connect with communities, and approach each experience as an opportunity for growth. Embracing both the possibilities and uncertainties of a new life chapter requires patience and courage but is instrumental in discovering personal freedom and purpose.

Looking to the Future

As she looks ahead, her vision for the future is one of continued exploration, both geographically and in her professional endeavors. With plans to launch a virtual coaching group, she aims to foster a vibrant community where women can share experiences, challenges, and triumphs as they navigate the journey of reinvention together.

This conversation serves as a powerful reminder that life after 50 can be a period of dynamic growth, new beginnings, and profound self-discovery. With the right mindset and support, the years following mid-life are ripe with opportunities for personal and professional fulfillment—a message that is both uplifting and deeply resonant.