Embracing Midlife: The Journey of Reinvention

Have you ever felt stuck or restless in the middle of life’s journey? You’re not alone! In this inspiring episode of the “Age of Reinvention” podcast, host Emily Bron talks with Tamara Cortoos, a distinguished leader in evidence-based consulting and founder of the Midlife Crossroads Academy. Tamara shares her midlife transformation, uncovering the power of self-awareness, resilience, and joy. She emphasizes strategies to thrive in midlife, from redefining success to embracing change as an opportunity for growth.

💡 Key Takeaways:
✨ Cultivating self-awareness
✨ Embracing transitions with resilience
✨ Finding joy in the everyday
✨ Redefining outdated notions of success
✨ Building a supportive network

➡️ Don’t miss this empowering conversation that proves it’s never too late to begin again.

TIMESTAMPS:
01:39 Age of Reinvention: Meet Tamara Cartoon
02:26 Tamara’s Journey: From Belgium to Sydney
05:31 Navigating Personal and Professional Changes
10:18 Lessons from Evidence-Based Consulting
15:07 The Catalyst for Midlife Crossroads Academy
25:13 Three Pillars of Midlife Crossroads Academy
29:50 Challenging Midlife Misconceptions
32:23 Opportunities Unique to Midlife

Emily: Welcome to another episode of Age of Reinvention, redefine Freedom, lifestyle, and Purpose at Midlife, where we dive deep into the stories and insights of remarkable individuals making waves in the fields and beyond. I’m your host, Emily Broun, and today we have a truly inspirational guest with us. Tamara Carus has been an incredible journey.

Sorry. Tamara has had an incredible journey that snaps continents from her home country of Belgium to the bustling street of Barcelona, London, and Sydney. She’s a leader in evidence-based consulting, a seasoned entrepreneur, and now a passionate midlife guide. Tamara founded the Midlife Crossroad Academy helping Midlifers a calibrate their lives with clarity, confidence, in a real sense of possibility.

So grab a coffee, sit back, and get ready to be inspired by Tamara’s story of reinvention and purpose. Hello, Tamara. To the H of Reinvention studio, and I was looking forward to our conversation already for some time.

Tamara: Oh, thank you. Thanks also for that introduction. That was a very impressive introduction.

Emily: Thank you for that. Thank you. And one of the reason rather than my sincere sympathy for you waiting for this conversation was the fact that we are working for the people of the same age category, trying to help midlifers from the different perspectives and even title of our companies and projects actually define it.

And I found many similarities in our life outlook, even personal characteristics and really like your words, which I found on your biome. Tamara is endlessly curious about what makes people tick and how we create lives that feel meaningful and exciting. She loves deep conversations fresh perspectives and challenging how we see midlife in this stage has taught her anything.

It is that reinvention is always an option and sometimes, and I believe might be even often the best is still to come, but it depends on us. Now it’s my words. Let these words will be the base and tone and start of our conversation today, and let’s see what we will build as a result.

As I reviewed your bio and your profile, I notice it’s that you lived in different countries. Your life journey has taken you from Belgium to Barcelona in Spain, London, Sydney. How did this international living experience, actually expat life shaped your personal life and professional outlook?

Oh, that’s a very broad

Tamara: question. I guess it shaped me in different ways, right? Personally, how it shaped me I guess in different ways when I’ve noticed when you move. Away from everything that’s familiar the country where you were born, where you grew up, the family, the friends that you leave behind and you move to something that is completely unknown to you.

No matter where it’s, whether it’s far or nearby, even nearby like Belgium and Spain and not that far apart, but culturally they’re quite different. But what I’ve noticed that what it has given me is a couple of things on a personal level, like flexibility, I’ve found that I’ve, I don’t have much trouble to with adapting to different situations.

And that’s something that actually, it’s happening on a personal level. But I noticed that in my professional life too. Like I if something comes up a bump in the road ahead or something unexpected, or I just go with the flow because I. That’s what I’ve had to do when I moved to a new country as well.

You are, you’re constantly adapting and adjusting and changing a little bit, who you are, who you were not just to fit in, but also because you, you want to understand the people in this new country, so you have to leave your, maybe some of your beliefs behind or have to change you yourself a little bit.

So flexibility’s a really important thing. Something else that I’ve noticed, maybe on, on a professional level I have worked in London and in Sydney. I spent a long time there couple decades actually. And that has really shaped me because the Anglo-Saxon. Culture, the work ethic. I had a strong work ethic from where I grew up because my parents are self-employed people and my dad took one day off a year, literally one day every other day he worked.

So the work ethic has always been strong, but in London it was pushed to an extreme. That’s maybe a negative thing, but on the positive, the Anglo-Saxon way of looking at

trying failure, I find that both in London and also in Sydney, they want you to try things and you can fail. Like you have an idea and people will go like in your company Hey, you know what? You have an idea. It’s a good one. Try it. Go for it. It might cost us a little bit of money if you fail. Hopefully we learn something from it, but maybe it’ll work, maybe you’ll actually succeed and it will be amazing.

And that is something that I have carried back with me when I moved from Sydney back to Belgium, where I had never had a job ’cause I left as a student. It was a massive adjustment for me and also a very different work culture. So I try to bring that back with me as well because I noticed that the people in Belgium are a lot more careful, when it comes to new ideas.

Yeah, it’s very cautious when it comes to new ideas and trying things out. They rather stick to the familiar things that they know, not necessarily want to try out crazy ideas that symptoms I might have. And that, that was actually a big adjustment. So I did need that flexibility again to adjust to that.

So those are just a couple of examples of well characteristics that moving in different countries or moving around have helped me professionally and personally.

Emily: Professionally. So I think it was a good seeds of what became Tamara today or even before. No, because it’s very important specifically when I’m thinking in why, when I’m noticing how Midlifers who don’t have such oh, similar experience, struggling actually with change which became now, everyday events around us.

But let’s back to you. You’ve had a remarkable career in evidence-based consulting leading global teams, and even launching your agency. I didn’t understand exactly in what area. Please, little bit elaborate. So what key lessons, again, have you learn during your previous roles that you apply today to your current work with Midlife Crossroads Academy?

Tamara: Maybe just to help you understand a bit more about what I did before, evidence-based consulting is what used to be called market research. Really everything has become consulting these days. So market research cleverly rebranded itself as evidence-based consulting which means that I. Worked with data from consumers to help understand, what, as you read from our bio, what made them tick, what makes them like brands or buy more specific products help develop products, what they should look like feature wise or marketing wise, communication wise, all those things.

That’s what I actually, that’s what I did. I did that in London. I did that in Sydney. I did indeed set up an agency in Sydney as well for around market research. And it has actually taught me, especially setting up my own agency, has taught me many lessons that I can still use. Now. I always say the main thing setting up my own business has taught me is having patience because I’m a very.

Things need to happen now, kind of person. Yes. It doesn’t surprise me. Yes. But setting up my own business there taught me to be patient because success doesn’t come from day one. The same now with midlife Crossroads Academy. Having patience and knowing that you need to build the business first before you can have success.

It’s a lesson that I took with me. And keep trying, right? If something doesn’t work, you fail. You try something else. Keep on trying. Another lesson that I’ve learned is, and that applies in a lot of areas in your life every no is a step closer to the first. Yes. It’s something that I had to keep telling myself, especially when you build a business and you want to attract clients.

And whether it is in coaching or in market research, it’s the same. It’s always the same basics. You have to try and sell in a way, with coaching, we don’t like to call that selling, but really when it comes down to it, that is what you’re do trying to do. You sell a service and people might say no, and maybe just say 10 people say no in a row.

But you have to look at it as every no is one step closer to the first. Yes. Because from every conversation that you’ve had, where people at the end say, no, thank you, there will be a lesson in that. Something that you can learn about maybe the way you communicated your, your body language, maybe, I don’t know, could be anything.

Maybe they didn’t really like the color of the jacket you were wearing. It was too, too bold or whatever. I like bold colors. Maybe something, there’s always something to learn that you can then adjust again next time. And maybe next time it’s still a no. But eventually you’ll get to a yes. The first.

Yes. And from there it’s like the sky’s the limit, right?

Emily: I already get several good examples. We are all startups as far as I understand, and I pivoted several times over the last years. And one of the reason because all is so quickly changing and it’s not the secret that we are living in a time of the big destructions, like geopolitical, economical, political, in our own countries, in the relationship between between the countries, which might at least affect my business and probably each business for online entrepreneurs and.

You named yourself Change Catalyst. You prepared yourself probably for this stage of life confessing that in your professional field. You introduced before transformation processes, rebranded companies reshaped the organizational structures and guide the teams through the complexities of change.

So now, yes, now we are going to Midlife Crossroad Academy on New Baby, I would say. So what was the driving inspiration behind Midlife Crossroads Academy and how does your previous, again, professional personal journey influence the programs and initiatives you offer?

Tamara: Okay, that’s several questions in one.

I’ll start maybe from the beginning. There was a catalyst that led me to launch midlife Crossroads Academy, but even before I get to that, I need to take you onto, the backstory to it. Because when I was in my early forties, midlife hit me really hard. I had this vision of where I would be by my forties, career wise, personally, everything and the idea that I always had didn’t quite match reality and there was this gap.

That made me feel like I was falling short in some way. And there were a couple of reasons why I felt that gap, and the first one I guess is that my career had lo has had lost its spark. I spent years working in market research and for a very long time I loved it, it, I identified with that job and then one day I didn’t love it anymore and I felt stuck I wasn’t learning, I wasn’t growing anymore.

And it, everything started to feel a bit repetitive. And to me that was very demotivating. ’cause I need change and I need, different things every, different challenges every day. It felt a bit like a dead end to me. That was one thing. And then there was also what I now know is called the comparison trap, right?

I kept seeing people, my peers, family members, friends, and they seem to have it all figured out. And I would look at their lives, their job titles, their successes, and then I think, why don’t I have this? And again, when you look at it rationally, it was a completely crazy thought to have because on paper I had a lot too, a successful career.

The business in Australia, I had two beautiful kids. I traveled the world. My parents were healthy. But instead of appreciating all that, I just kept asking myself like, why does it feel like I’ve got everything I ever wanted? And it’s still not enough. That was the second thing. The third thing was that I started to feel regrets.

I had a lot of what ifs in my head at that time. All the things that I didn’t do, the opportunities I didn’t take. What if I had studied law instead of economics, maybe I would’ve become that human rights lawyer that I always thought I was gonna become. Or what if I had taken up my university?

’cause they offered me a PhD three years in a row and I turned ’em down every time. What if I had done that? Would I be making like an impact in the world now? I just thought I have shut so many doors in my past and I felt regret about that. And it makes it sound like all of the, all of what I was feeling is about, I.

My career, but that’s not really true because on top of it all, I felt like really restless. I looked at my life and it was this monotonous loop of responsibilities, and I so often thought how did my life end up like this? It wasn’t meant to be this, I was meant for like amazing things, not to do grocery shopping on a Thursday night at 10 o’clock.

This is not me. So I started to think did I waste my best years? Because I always thought that I’d have it all figured out by my forties, and I would be confident and be very clear about my future, where I was going, and I didn’t. I felt lost and I did not know at all anymore what was coming next.

And I also when I looked in the mirror, aging had never really worried me until it did. And suddenly all I could see were the signs of getting older. I would look at other women my age and think like, why did they look so much better than me? It’s comparing again, but also feeling oh my God, again, I’m falling short in some way ’cause I can’t even age nicely.

You are very competitive. I’m very competitive. I’ve my old teams used to joke about it, how competitive I am, but I’m also, apart from competitive, I’m also really pragmatic and solution oriented. So with all of that’s happening, the thoughts, the challenges, my initial solution was to retrain. I got certified in change management and I wanted to pivot into, a new industry and then actually came the actual catalysts.

’cause at my first job interview I was feeling really good. I was talking about my experiences, my knowledge, my skills, everything I could bring to the table, how eager I was to use all of that in a new industry. And then this HR manager looks at me and he says, I kid you not, I’m sorry, but you’re too old to hire.

It’s illegal before you say anything. Of course it’s illegal, but it’s illegal In what country it was Belgium. Yeah. But I was in shock, right? I, when

Emily: he said that, I just, he was not cautious by the way, saying it as Belgium culture you like, he was even not covering it by nice words. But

Tamara: until that moment, it had never occurred to me that I might be too old for something.

And now this guy said it to my face and I was only 44. I was not. No, but to me that was the final straw because I was already having all these, the problems with all the typical midlife questions. I was trying to find answers. Right? And the only things I could find to my questions, my doubts and all the challenges I was facing, there was all these shallow advice, these superficial things, or even worse, like the midlife cliches that you can find, right?

And then ageism was thrown into the mix and I got really angry about it. ’cause I was thinking like, there’s no one to help me deal with all these midlife questions like midlifers. They’re just left to figure it all out by themselves. We have like primary education, secondary education, tertiary education.

It’s all meant to help you become a grownup. But once you’ve been a grownup for a couple of decades. Questions come up in your life. You’re just supposed to have all the answers, and you don’t. You just, you don’t. So I decided I’d had enough and I was gonna fig figure out a way to find answers and solutions.

So I started researching everything I could, about midlife, about psychology social science, leadership, communication, coaching. I read academic papers. They’re very dry. I took courses. I spoke to so many other midlifers who turned out to be just as lost as I was. It’s just they never talked about it.

And to process it all, I started writing down what I learned. So after a while, I ended up with this manual, a guide that explains what you’re going through in midlife and why that is. And what the different steps are that you need to take to, to turn midlife into something really positive and powerful.

And that manual, that, that guides, it included a lot more than the challenges that I was personally facing at the time. And I then realized I want to share that manual with other Midlifers because I knew from all the research and conversations that other people could really benefit from what I knew, what I had discovered, the insights that I found.

And that’s really how Midlife Crossroads Academy was born. It’s an online platform where Midlifers can come to find answers and tools and guidance to make midlife amazing. So that’s a really long answer, Emily, to your question. Yes.

Emily: No, but it’s a essence of what you’re doing. And actually it’s you very like comprehensively, I would say not very, but overall describes the problem that exist on the different continents that were observed for many people, but not many people of this age are ready to change it actually, to create something to help even themselves.

Like I’ve heard several stories by the way I was a contractor till the recently, meaning I’m going through, I was going through the interview process many times in my life in Canada. I even don’t remember how many. Interviews I’ve had, and by the way, I’ve heard the stories, especially women, they do plastic surgery or, something to make them look actually younger than they are or better.

And they say, oh, just for me to feel better and I fully understand it, but it’s actually happened before the big interview as a part of preparation for the interview. So you just on mission and on target and in your definition, as far as I understood, you advocate for recalibrating and realigning rather than starting over.

As far as I understand, and what does this protest look like and how can individuals begin to navigate?

Tamara: Oh there’s a lot that I can say about that. The maybe a couple of things that you need to know, how you begin to navigate midlife.

Emily: Just start, I understand. I’m not expecting you explain because I understand that what you are doing, and I’m still trying kinda to have clear vision.

It’s actually a result already of many years of work and thoughts, and you are tweaking as it should be, as you go. But just overall start,

Tamara: I always say there are three things. That, or three big challenges that Midlifers face and that you have to overcome, right? This, I call them at Midlife Crossroads Academy.

I call ’em the pillars that the business is built on, but really there are three buckets of challenges people face. First one is you need to know yourself because by the time you hit midlife, you are a very different person than. You were when you were 20. So you need to understand who you are now.

Cultivating self-awareness, let’s call it. So you need to think about not just your strengths, your personality, but also you need to think about everything, the experiences that have shaped you. What are your personal values? What actually really matters to you? Now, what is important when you make a decision?

What’s it based on? What are the stories you tell yourself about yourself? What are the beliefs that you have about yourself? Self-limiting beliefs, often the beliefs you have about your life, about your environment. What brings you joy in life on a daily basis? What drives you? What? What is it actually that motivates you?

What stops you from taking action? All of these things. And of course, it all leads into. And how do you then take that to build a purpose in your life in midlife? That’s the whole thing is self-awareness. Know yourself. There’s no bigger gift you can give yourself than the gift of self-awareness.

The second thing that you need in midlife is you need to learn to navigate, transition, and be resilient, right? ’cause midlife, it brings big changes with it. In your physically, in your family dynamics, in, in career, the sense of purpose that you have. Everything it, it all in finances, maybe in your identity.

Lots of changes. And learning to embrace those transitions as opportunities for growth. Is super important. But before you can do that, you need to really understand the different phases of a transition and how to work through them and what skillset you need to develop to actually do that. Like resilience is one part of the skillset.

So that’s a second element, really understanding transition, because you can’t get through it unless you recognize what stage that you’re in. As part of that, you will probably want to set some kind of goal for yourself, the midlife as well. It doesn’t matter how big or small, but set a goal for yourself.

Again, have something to work towards and a roadmap of exactly how you’re going to achieve it, because taking action is so important in midlife. And the third element is embracing the positives of aging. Because when people hear the words aging, they immediately think of downhill. Everything is just, my body’s giving up, or oh, God’s mental issues, or whatever it is.

Like I’ve become invisible once I’m 50 or older. All the negative things of aging is what people think about, but there’s so many positives as well. Like you have wisdom to share. You can build a legacy. You have so many experiences that can only come with age. So shifting that perspective to see aging as an asset, right?

It can really. Enrich the journey and open up new possibilities of, things you can do, opportunities that life gives you. So those are actually the three things that I always bang on about when I talk about Midlife Crossroad Academy, because I do see those as the basis of really making the best of midlife, let’s put it that way.

Emily: Yes. I, I fully agree with with your approach and you stated it’s very nicely, I would say, there is standard narratives that midlife is a crisis or complete decline. So how do you challenge this misconceptions through your course and maybe speaking activities and what are the most exciting opportunities unique to this stage of life?

I know you mentioned already, but maybe you have some fresh examples.

Tamara: Yes. Can I first go back to the midlife crisis?

Emily: Sure. It’s kind of cliche and people, some people maybe even don’t have it. Many people now, young people have it from twenties. It’s what they think. Midlife crisis. People are confused.

Let’s say, look as I understand it so we all by society, by books, by self expectation, had a certain program in life. You get education school, some. Many of us university, we starting to build career. We get married, we have family, children. We achieve some success in our careers, and we get to the point when program is ended and here for the people like what to do next, the program, which before was designed maybe till 50 60, but now with, all the technological changes our life became, oh optionally, should be, would be, can be up to 80, 90. We have additional chapter, or I would say, opportunity to have different life when you first program is completed, but nobody, as you mentioned before provided there are professionals, psychologists who started to write about it, but manual or what to do with your second next chapter when you completed one.

Or maybe by the way, you are not satisfied with how you completed the first one. For me, it’s opportunity to redefine, to find new purpose, new freedom in many cases, new profession, new direction. What you would say, what are exciting opportunities, unique for this stage of life?

Tamara: I always think you’ve got a chance to transform yourself.

And I know from a bio that you read out that midlife is a chance to reinvent yourself. I really need to change that because the word reinvention, I think is misleading. I don’t think that people should reinvent themselves in midlife. It makes it sound like you’re starting you’re not starting over.

You’re building on what’s already there. Midlife is about, evolving. You take what you’ve learned and you use it in a way that fits with who you are now. So reinvention is actually the wrong. It sounds so dramatic,

Emily: right? Reinvent yourself, reinvent your potential. It’s how I understand, and I have redefined your freedom, lifestyle, and purpose, because at least it’s how I see it now based on my experience and experience of other people with similar but different stories.

Tamara: I talked before about cultivating self-awareness, but the opportunity that you really have is to evolve yourself into the best version of yourself, right? If you know who you are, you know your strengths, you know what you actually want in life, it is such a powerful way of being. Also, you can come up with a new goal, people to turn a very negative element into something positive.

Midlife is always associated with the midlife crisis, right? When people go completely gaga and they go and they buy a red sports car and they get a tattoo sleeve and they get a, a facelift, whatever, you’re almost expected to do something completely crazy. Always saying okay, why don’t we just use that?

If we’re expected to do something big anyway, why don’t we just do something big but something big that suits us, that suits our personality, that suits where we wanna go, that suits the goal that we now have in life. Because if people expect you to be to change anyway you can change in a way that you want to change, right?

And midlife is a perfect time to do that and to embrace. Transition. As as I said before, it’s an opportunity for growth. I also see this time in midlife as an opportunity to really build a legacy. When you’re younger, you building the career, building the family, building the life.

Once you get to a certain age, it can be already in your late thirties. Maybe it’s in your early sixties. It doesn’t really matter when, but at some point you’re gonna ask yourself, what do I want to leave behind? What’s the impact I want to leave behind? And when you start thinking about that and you try to come up with ideas of making a positive impact on the world, maybe.

The world as in your in your immediate environment or maybe the world as a whole. It can be big, can be small, it doesn’t matter, but midlife is your chance to do that. And just like engaging in meaningful activities that reflect your values, that. And just make sure that the legacy that you’re building aligns with your true self.

And I, I always say like a legacy, it can be as simple as mentoring a younger colleague. It can be as simple as, raising your children. That’s a legacy too. Or maybe you start you take up, I don’t know, maybe you start painting and you decide that you wanna put on an exhibition. It’s a legacy of some sort as well.

Whatever you choose. But at some point you’re gonna really ask yourself, what do I want in the world to be left of me after I’m gone? That’s really morbid, but it’s really a question that you ask.

Emily: There’s a lot of things that coming to my head. But coming back to you you mentioned your curiosity about what makes people tick fully supported and create meaningful lives.

What personal passions or interest do you pursue that contribute to your fulfilling midlife at this point?

Tamara: I’m a person of very simple pleasures, believe it or not. I. I have a couple of hobbies, but basically the ones that help me to calm my mind because I’m one of those people whose minds can’t stop running day and night.

So I do yoga a lot of yoga to help me quieten down. I do Pilates as well. I like the philosophy behind both of them, especially behind yoga. I notice that, learning to breathe helps me calm down and brings me back to myself. And then something else that, it’s not a hobby, but I’ve noticed that, I spend a lot of time with my children. I’ve got two kids. I was very late in life to actually have kids, so they’re still pretty young. And spending time with them as well. Again, to me, that is what brings me joy in my life, even though sometimes, I could just kill them, but generally it’s what really brings me joy in my life.

So that’s, that would be my answer. It’s maybe not exactly what you were thinking of, but that’s really,

Emily: it’s what it is. And I would agree that meditation, yoga exercises, it just necessity for the, wandering minds like ours. I have already grown up children, but they’re still children. Okay.

You have time to discover it and what. Set Midlife Crossroad Academy. Apart from the other midlife coaching support programs out there what is the core message or philosophy, which you already started to speak about, but what is the core message of philosophy that you want to instill in those going through this stage as a, your program and actually in what format you are delivering it?

Tamara: The whole business is built around one big belief that I have and that, that is, that midlife is not the end. It’s the beginning, right? So everything is focused around that. How to help people start in midlife, how to embrace the challenges, how to understand what they’re going through. So to me that’s a new beginning.

So the way that I do that at this very moment is through an online program called Midlife sorry, called Transforming Midlife. And that online program is something that people take in their own time itself, pace. So you just do that in your own time. And it’s packed with everything that I’ve learned about midlife.

It blends that psychology business, even social science, marketing, change management. It’s a really comprehensive program to give midlifers the tools and insights that they need to take control of their lives. And it is built around the three core pillars that I mentioned before. So the self-awareness, navigating transitions, and change, and then learning to look at the positive aspects of getting older, of aging.

I also offer a whole range of eBooks. Some master classes like for instance, I’ve got one on the website at the moment that is free, that is about resilience, building resilience. ’cause especially in this day and age, you notice that people are struggling to be resilient, to change because there’s so much happening, as you said before, political, economical.

Everything is changing and people feel very insecure ’cause of that. So I guess the main thing that I would say, sorry, no, I wanna come back to it at the moment. It’s still all self-paced, but I am working on making it a program that you can take where you then also have me as a coach at certain, space in the program where we would come in and do a workshop with the participants as well. That is still for the future, the near future, but that hasn’t been launched yet. So what I can maybe say to the viewers and the listeners is to have a look at the website, midlife crossroads academy.com.

They’ll can find resources, tools, blog posts that will help them better understand midlife and the challenges, and also have a look or connect with Midlife Crossroads Academy on social media. I share information and inspiration on Facebook and Instagram, or you can follow me personally on LinkedIn.

That’s possible too.

Emily: Thank you. I will share the, your website as well in the description. To and finding a lot of similarities. Somehow. I get a question since it’s online business you open, as far as I understand, for the people from different cultures who find you. Do you apply some, I don’t know, localization or you take in account cultural differences between midlifers coming from the different cultures countries, but they have the same, kinda the same issues, but with the different cultural, background can be probably addressed differently?

Tamara: They could be, yes. I totally agree. Having lived in different cultures, I know there are differences. But at the moment the program is it’s it doesn’t necessarily take that into account yet. But yes, I’m very aware of that. I do actually have a lot of followers from India who are now look very differently at midlife.

Although, as you said, the questions, the challenges, they’re always the same. But of course, there’s some countries where, as a woman for instance, your opportunities might be a bit more limited, than in other countries. So yes, there of course there will be cultural differences. But then I always think okay, even if the path is different or the goals might be different, but the process will still be the same, right?

The questions that you go through, the process of solving. Still the same, it’s just that the end result might differ depending on the country that you’re in.

Emily: How do you envision the Academy evolving and impacting individuals in the next couple of years? And today, every month it’s like year, speaking about changes and so I believe as we should adapt probably our services yes, our product or like what you would say, because it’s what I’m thinking now about my next season.

What I would do, what you would say about Midlife Crossroad Academy?

Tamara: Yep. Oh, I’ve got so many plans. As I said, I would like to, slightly changed the purely self-paced course now into an a program where there would be live interaction. The next step would of course be to organize face-to-face in real life retreats style.

So I can actually have people around me one-on-one coaching as well. And something else that I would really like to do is go into businesses and help them to use the midlifers that they have the employees in a better way. Because we all know in companies once you reach a certain age, there’s a big risk that your career won’t go up anymore.

The training opportunities will become less because, why invest in someone who’s 50? Oh, we really want to change that mindset and help companies, HR managers understand that the people midlifers have incredible value for companies that have wisdom to share if you learn to use them in the right way.

So that is something I feel very passionate about as well. Not just because of my personal experience with the ageism, but also because I think that’s just the right thing to do for others.

Emily: For listeners starting to explore their midlife transitions now what practical steps or exercises would you recommend for recalibrating their lives with clarity and purpose?

Tamara: Yeah. Practical steps. I think the first thing to do is maybe give yourself permission to change. A lot of people think that because they have been a certain person for a long time, they have to remain that person it’s familiar for to themselves, but also to others in their environment. But to let that go and give yourself permission to change and telling yourself you’re allowed to evolve, and if something no longer fits you just let it go.

A belief, a career, a role, an old dream, just let it go. I think that’s a very important step. Another step is to find. Joy in everyday life. And by that I literally mean find something that gives you joy and do it every day. And I’m not talking about big things like, purpose and finding meaning in life.

The really big things, just the simple pleasure in life. And for some people that’s having a cup of coffee and 10, 10 minutes of me time in the morning when everyone else is still asleep, right? For someone else, it’s writing a haiku every day. Someone else finds it in their work. It could be anything really, but know what brings you joy and make time for it every day.

It’s something that I borrowed from Japan. It’s a concept called Ikigai. I’m a very firm believer in that. I build it into the transforming midlife course as well. So to me, that’s very important. Join every day, a third element. To make midlife well, to improve midlife, to make it more meaningful is to surround yourself with the right people in midlife.

You need cheerleaders. You need people who will lift you up even when things get difficult. And people who, when you tell ’em about a plan or a goal you want to achieve, they’re not immediately talking about all the negatives, right? So you can’t do this. Have you thought about that? What will you do if this happens or whatever?

You need people around you who will support you to achieve your goals. And if things don’t work out as planned, you need people who will help you get through that instead of just saying oh, I told you super important. ’cause by midlife, again, you should know who you want around you in your close circle and who doesn’t fit anymore.

And the fourth piece of advice. And that ties back into the legacy I was talking about before, is to let go of your old definition of success. We’re all conditioned to measure success by job titles, financial milestones, external validation. The real success is about alignment. What you feel inside, are you living in a way that feels fulfilling?

You know when I personally stop tying my identity to a job title, I make room for meaningful work that really energizes me. It gives me purpose like helping other people through midlife Crossroads Academy. And it wasn’t easy to get to, to let go of society’s version of success. Because I chose significance instead of success, but I think it was worth it.

And it’s definitely, those are the four pieces of advice I guess, that I would give to any midlife listeners and viewers that are out there.

Emily: If you could go back and give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be? Now on, on this stage of

Tamara: your life, stop worrying about things that don’t matter in the long run.

There’s so many things that honestly they didn’t matter and I wasted so much time worrying about them, and in the end, who cares? It all went away and. That’s really the advice. I’ve thought about that so many times. Oh my God, if I had known this or that upfront, I wouldn’t have wasted that time, that energy, that effort on all these things that at the time I thought were important,

Emily: but

Tamara: they really

Emily: weren’t.

It’s excellent, but it, I think this is a kind of main issue when we are young, we don’t know what is important or not only when you went through the some time period. So it’s this situation we can look back and based on, our own experience, remembering still what we thought before here.

It’s where wisdom is born.

Tamara: Yes, indeed. And the benefit of inside, eh, you only get it once you are old enough to look back. Yes, indeed. I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks that, by the way, I think many people will agree with

Emily: me. Would you go back in your life if this opportunity to your younger self if this opportunity, you know now will somehow imaginally created for you?

Tamara: I dunno, because there’s a lot in my life to be thankful for, right? So I would have missed the experiences, the opportunities that I’ve had in the life that I have lived so far. So I’m not entirely sure I would go back. I might have made a couple of different decisions, but I think I would still like to be where I am now.

This is who I am, right? Everything that I have lived has shaped me into who I am now. I would be a different person otherwise, and I dunno if that person would be. Better or worse

Emily: than who I am now. Yes. I fully agree with you and telling the truth, I’m more satisfied of myself and my mood and experience and fifties, and now I’m in early sixties much better than when I was young, maybe because I’ve had immigration relocation and it was all starting from zero and it’s shaped who I am now.

But now I’m more happier. Like I am.

Tamara: There’s actually an explanation for that, you know that, right? Have you heard of the U curve of happiness?

Emily: What exactly? Tell me.

Tamara: No, you don’t. Of course. Yes. There’s actually research that has been done. It started in the us but the research has been done repeated.

All over the world, I think there are up to half a million per people that they have done this with. So basically they found as a result of the research that happiness is U-shaped. So in your twenties and thirties, you are at your happiest top. But during life, you’re building your life and all of that, you’re happy.

But then late thirties and forties, mid forties, you sit at the bottom of happiness, the bottom of the U curve, because by then you’ve had some, a reality check, all the expectations that you had when you were younger. You now realize that either that didn’t happen or, it’s all very tough.

You had a couple of knocks in your life and a couple failures, whatever, disappointments. So you sit at the bottom. That’s really where midlife is. That’s midlife. Most people when they are in midlife and they feel like dissatisfied or really unhappy, they always think that the curve will go even further down and they will become less and less happy or more and more unhappy.

But that’s not the case. That’s not what that research found. It found that in your fifties and definitely your sixties, the curve goes steep up again and you become happier and your expectation of you know how happy you think you’ll be in a couple of years, it reduces, but actually it’s very close to reality.

People always say in their early sixties oh, I don’t think life can get better. But then life gets actually much better than what they had expected it to be, and it makes them even happier. So the U curve of happiness explains why we feel what we feel in midlife. And you in your early sixties, you feel better Again, this research, this has been proven to be a thing.

Emily: I have seen this U-turn, I would say, but you very beautifully describe it. And as far as I understand why it’s happened for me at least because we more appreciate the small daily things, o of happiness. We from the big, and I was inclined always to philosophy, psychology when I was young.

At least I had interest to it. Like after having several circles in this field and still having interest to it, we going back to our day-to-day life to appreciate small things that life offers us. And what book or film or maybe real life event has had profound impact on you recently and why? Oh, that’s a difficult question.

I find, sorry, I didn’t want to to broke your happiness, but something, some event, some observation, some, because with me it’s happened to daily lately. Events, global events. What was for you? What is for you? But.

Tamara: What’s happening right now in the world, of course, has a big impact on me as well, but maybe not always in a very positive

Emily: way. It’s where our resilience is tested. It’s where we see the, we need to work probably on ourselves and how to adjust to it. It’s what I’m saying myself.

Tamara: Yes it’s also a bit of a worry for me because what’s happening out there is making me question how to raise my kids, for instance.

I raise my kids to be nice people, but, and I realize that maybe having nice kids is not the best thing for them. Maybe they need to be toughened up and become a bit harder to really thrive in the world that we see now. Things like that are really on my mind. They like, what do I do to prepare my children, my legacy in this world?

How do I prepare them for the world out there? What kind of features do I want to, I want ’em to build? So as you can see it, it’s like this is really a lot on my mind. And it, that’s how what’s happening out there is really worrying me. When you hear about, all the negativity online, the way that young boys look at girls and women, how they’re conditioned into a view perspective that is.

So against everything I believe in. ’cause I believe in equality and in appreciating people for who they are. And that’s something I instill in my kids as well. We’re all the same really. We can all achieve the same. And then, my son comes home and he says something, I mean he’s only 11 and then the brother of someone in the class has said something like the older brother, something really negative about girls.

And my son repeats it at home and I go like, where do you even hear that? Oh yeah, this, the brother said that Andrew Tate said blah blah. And you go it’s so not who I want you to be, my boy. This, you need to start questioning this. But how do you teach your kids that? With everything that they learn and hear in you can’t control every second of their life

Emily: and internet. Sometimes it’s just sewage. Sorry.

Tamara: It’s ugly. It is, yes. Sorry. It’s

Emily: no, but it’s, my two daughters are adults now, and I see actually the results, of how I raise them, to be good and polite and when they have realistic meeting with day-to-day challenges.

And I understood that even before that you should be more rough, I would say, or you should have. Open mind, but it’s easy to say than do when you bombarded as a young person with all this internet and you look for, your peers confirmation or to be part of the circle. And it’s a big topic for us conversation and for us midlifers who were shaped on the different ideas.

Yes. And different understanding how relationships should be between men and women, between people in society. It’s a big shock again, and we somehow need to adjust to it at the same time. Not to losing ourself. Yes.

Tamara: Yeah, indeed. But it’s a very fine line, eh? ’cause I said I can teach my children to be.

Nice. And think of other people first before you think of, be altruistic. But on the other hand, maybe I should tell them like if you really want something, you just, put your fist on the table and say, I want this. And then people will listen. Maybe I should think more along those lines and then go okay, toughen them up.

And, but it’s, I know, but it’s, it goes against everything that I believe in. I’m like, oh God, where do I find the balance between the two? How do I prepare them for life? Ideally in a nice way, but then I don’t want it to be pushovers either. So yes,

Emily: maybe the middle. Yeah, somewhere in the middle, golden middle to find the balance, but it’s not easy to do.

And lastly what empowering message or advice would you like to leave to our midlife listeners about embracing and redefining changes in midlife? You’re

Tamara: not too old. It’s not too late, and you can still do it.

Emily: Thank you very much. And it was conversation with Tamara Corus, and I’m very thankful for your time and wisdom.

And ideas shared today. Thank you, Tamara. Oh,

Tamara: thank you. Thanks, Emily. It was absolutely, it was my pleasure. I really appreciate that you let me come on your podcast. I really like being here. Thank you.

Emily: Thank you. We are working for the same target auditor. We trying to help, I believe the same people from different perspective and who knows.

Sometimes we, we are working shoulder to shoulder. Yes, indeed. And we should I, we should have a good day and the rest of the week. Thank you. Thank you. It’s the end of today’s episode of Age of Reinvention. Thank you to Tamara Carus for sharing her wisdom and experiences with us. My dear listeners, if you are feeling inspired to recalibrate and realign your midlife journey.

Check out Midlife Crossroads Academy for resources and support. If you enjoyed this conversation, don’t forget to subscribe. Give us a rating. Ensure this episode with anyone who could use it a bit inspiration in their life. Thanks for tuning in and we will see you next time with more stories that empower, inform and enlightens.

I.

Tamara Cortoos

Midlife coach ICF certified | Founder Midlife Crossroads Academy

Tamara Cortoos is the founder of Midlife Crossroads Academy, a life coaching platform born from her mission to help midlifers navigate their next chapter with clarity and confidence. With 15+ years of executive leadership, Tamara brings deep expertise as a life coach, evidence-based consultant, and strategic advisor in brand, innovation, and organizational change. A passionate mentor and lifelong learner, she creates meaningful impact by guiding individuals and companies through transformation—always with heart, insight, and purpose.

Ever wonder what it truly means to reinvent yourself? How can transformation—from breaking old patterns to embracing new opportunities—unlock our hidden potential? I recently explored these questions on The Age of Reinvention podcast with the remarkable Dr. Natalie Forest. Renowned for her transformational leadership and innovative strategies, Dr. Natalie offers fresh perspectives on personal growth, purpose, and empowerment. Let’s dive into the conversation and uncover the wisdom and insights she shared.

Who Is Dr. Natalie Forest?

Dr. Natalie Forest inspires people to dream big while staying grounded in their authentic selves. As a historian, transformational leader, and innovator, she collaborates with organizations like 9210 Enterprises and the Los Angeles Tribune to bridge gaps between heart, mind, and purpose. 🌎

Her global impact—spanning authentic connections, empowerment, and innovation—is unrivalled. From her vibrant leadership roles to her advocacy for mental health and community-building, Dr. Natalie defines positivity and transformative energy.

The Art of Reinvention

What does reinvention mean to you? For Dr. Natalie, it’s a lifelong journey. On the podcast, she described how embracing the role of a “revolutionary rule breaker” empowered her to challenge the status quo and redefine leadership.

Through her journey, Dr. Natalie underscored that reinvention is about courage. It’s about being bold enough to question existing norms and having the confidence to establish principles in personal and professional life.

Balancing Your Heart and Mind

One of the most profound ideas Dr. Natalie shared was her approach to balancing intuition with analytical thinking. 🧠💖 She has mastered aligning her gut instincts with practical strategies to achieve her goals.

This balance isn’t merely a personal tool; she actively teaches others. Whether guiding mentees or large organizations, she empowers individuals to create these connections. And this alignment matters! When heart and mind are in sync, individuals feel more fulfilled, energized, and ready to tackle life’s challenges.

Uncovering the Hidden Power of Patterns

Dr. Natalie’s signature insight is the hidden power of patterns. Often unbeknownst to us, our lives are governed by subconscious behavioural patterns that greatly influence our choices.

By identifying and understanding these patterns, Dr. Natalie helps individuals make informed decisions, empowering them to break free from limiting beliefs and replace ineffective habits with productive ones. Her methodology has transformed countless lives, proving that change begins with self-awareness.

Transformation Through Authentic Connections

Dr. Natalie doesn’t focus solely on individuals—she is equally passionate about community growth. Her collaboration with organizations like Women of Global Change demonstrates her commitment to global empowerment, education, and connection.

Blending historical insight with spiritual alignment, she offers a distinct leadership style that resonates personally and globally. This authentic approach invigorates anyone seeking transformational change in their professional or personal lives.

Advice for Midlife Professionals

Navigating midlife can be daunting, especially in fast-evolving job markets and economic uncertainty. Dr. Natalie’s advice? It’s simple yet powerful:

You are here for a reason.

Embrace your background, skills, and life experiences, as they hold immense power! Dr. Natalie reassures us to approach challenges confidently, allowing resilience and purpose to illuminate our paths. 🌟

Closing Thoughts

Dr. Natalie Forest’s story and teachings remind us of the extraordinary potential within reinvention. Whether tapping into your intuition, identifying subconscious patterns, or reimagining your approach to leadership, her guidance serves as a beacon for anyone ready to pursue freedom, purpose, and success.

If you’re curious about your transformation, I highly recommend exploring more of her work. Let Dr. Natalie’s wisdom inspire you to reach new heights and embrace every challenge as part of the beautiful journey of reinvention.