Midlife Reinvention: Embracing Change and Positivity

Emily Bron: Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Age of Reinvention, your go to podcast for inspiring stories, strategies, and insights on navigating the exciting, often challenging journey of midlife reinvention. Today, I beam with excitement as we invite you to join us. To our virtual studio or luminous personality known for lighting up the corridors of academia and the lives of many with her expertise in positive thinking and the science of laughter.

Let’s give a warm welcome to the incredibly talented Dr. Anna Litovkina. She is Distinguished Professor at Hans Selye University in Slovak Republic, a multilingual author of many books, internationally recognized speaker and the beacon of optimism with over 150 scientific publications to her name.

With contagious enthusiasm, she unfolds the power of positivity and humor Guiding us on how to turn ambition into achievement. Join us as we delve into a conversation with Anna, learning about different humorous stories that have shaped her life, gaining insight from her cross cultural experiences, and uncovering the pivotal moment of her life’s reinvention.

Whether you’re reimagining your career or seeking joy daily, we’re Today’s discussion promises to brighten your perspective. So sit back, prepare to listen, smile, and let’s embark on this journey of discovery with none other than Anna Litovkina. Hello, Anna. I’m really happy to have you in my studio. And I will repeat after then near the below the recording, all your Multiple works and titles and accolades, but I’m looking forward to start the conversation.

Anna Litovkina: Hello, Emily. Yes, I’m also very happy to be with you. Thank you for inviting me.

Emily Bron: Thank you for being with me. And looking at your really multiple qualification and experiences, I would say I would like to start with From the beginning, your diverse educational background and life journey, including immigration and professional work in different countries, are truly fascinating.

Could you share with our listeners and me what inspired you being yourself at 55 years old and already many years professor in several university to pursue a master of art in practical psychology following your next transformation to be a coach.

Anna Litovkina: Oh, okay. Thank you for your question. So first of all, I would like to tell our listeners that But I’m 61 years old, and five years ago, I got my master’s degree in psychology and in coaching.

And this is my degree from the University of It’s Russian university, actually, this university is absolutely unique, our University of Practical Psychology. Before that, a few decades ago, I got a degree in linguistics and in literature from Moscow Lomonosov University. And for many decades, I have been working as an educator.

Nowadays I’m a professor. I have been teaching English. Sometimes I teach Russian. Sometimes I teach Hungarian as foreign language. And years ago I had this idea that I would like to study psychology. Psychology fascinates me. And I think that it’s important for everyone to be familiar with basic laws of psychology, just simply to have a happy life.

And in 2017, I was accepted for that program. I didn’t really want to change my job because I’m very happy with my job. But I just wanted to learn a lot from fantastic teachers, fantastic coaches, fantastic psychologists there. And I wanted to become happier. So I think I’m quite a happy person.

I have really some kind of good attitude towards life. And we met with you or at the festival was it a siesta or the age of happiness? So because I think for you and the similar to me, we just wanted to get some new techniques, some new strategies in order to become even happier, so I wanted to become.

Even happier. I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to start doing other things. I wanted to become a coach and this is what happens. So I got a degree of psychology. I got a degree of a co chair and I haven’t changed my job. I’m still a professor, but I frequently have some clients in coaching.

And I think it’s absolutely fantastic. Even if you are 50 or you are 55, I was the oldest person, there were about 80 students and I think I was the oldest person there, but as my peers said that I was the most energetic person that I was the most enthusiastic person there, uh, when I was doing when I was doing my studies.

Emily Bron: Can I make conclusions that kind of every new course over the life or new studies or upgrade or new topics make your kind of more positive because it’s created new vision for you, new vision of life, how you would summarize it?

Anna Litovkina: You’re absolutely right. So I like. Studying. I like learning.

It’s not only that I like attending different courses or the week when I got my degree in Moscow and the week when I was defending my thesis. That week I was the chair of the state exam committee at my university. So imagine isn’t this strange, just like here, I’m a strict person,

So here if anyone is not okay, so I was the chair of a committee state exam. Students were defending their dissertations or their thesis. And a few days later, I fly to Moscow in 2019 at the very end of May, and and I defend my own thesis. I think that it’s absolutely fine if we are 50, if we are 40, even if we are 60, to learn certain new things, to meet new people.

So for me, it’s absolutely fantastic. I like learning. I like studying. And, there are some kind of people who start learning or who starts studying and they never finish. I am a kind of person who, when I start, it’s almost always that I finish. So if the education is fine, I finish it. And I get some new skills.

I get some new knowledge. I meet some new people. So my life becomes more interesting, more exciting.

Emily Bron: Your experience spans across various cultures and countries, including substantial, long experience living in Hungary, Tynur in Budapest, and educational roots in Moscow, Russia. How do these cultural experiences shape your understanding of And probably methodology in coaching other individuals through the life’s transition and reinvention in the new culture and country.

And I believe it’s important now for many people because so many changes happening around us that these skills are really required.

Anna Litovkina: I think actually one of my Maybe most important skills maybe not skills, but features is flexibility and the skill to be adaptive. I was 22 years old when I got married and when I moved to Hungary, imagine I started absolutely new life.

Just like I moved from the Soviet Union I started absolutely new life, new language, new friends, new colleagues. So everything was absolutely new. Afterwards, years later, I got a Fulbright scholarship. I went to California and I spent one year at University of California at Berkeley. I was doing my research in one of the best universities in the world. So I teach now I live in Hungary. I teach in Slovakia. I have clients from all over the world. And you know that I also have a hobby. I like recording interviews. So I also have podcast or I have YouTube channel. And. I consider myself the citizen of the world, the citizen of the planet or the citizen of the universe.

I do not restrict myself to any language because my mother tongue is Russian, but I live in Hungary. My Hungarian is very good. I have published numerous books in Hungarian language. So I teach English language. And I also have clients maybe I do coaching in Russian language. Maybe I do coaching in Hungarian language, or maybe even in English language, and I also record interviews in Russian, in English and in Hungarian language, so I think that the way that I have been to numerous countries and the way that I speak different languages and.

Also that I sometimes teach here. I sometimes have workshops here or there. So it helps me to understand people from various cultures, it helps me to understand what kind of problems they might have in their particular setting.

Emily Bron: Can you share some small examples actually in navigating the transition because not so many people have such unique experience, living experience like you, but the transition became part of life of many of us or might be soon.

So what are the key lessons learned that you now can share with your clients and our listeners?

Anna Litovkina: In my clients, it depends because sometimes I have a client who comes only just for one session. A coach. So if you work as a coach very frequently, you just do one session.

For example, someone has a kind of goal and in one session might be absolutely enough. Sometimes some clients might have five sessions or 10 sessions and so on. It was really fantastic. It was about five years ago when I went to London and I took part in a wonderful seminar or you can call it workshop or events Tony Robbins had.

So Tony Robbins unleashed the power within. And I was walking on a fire there. I was doing a lot of other crazy things. And for example, there, I met a very nice person. And immediately when we were talking, she told me that she would like to become my client. And I told her wonderful. And she became my client.

And for example, once while. She was my client. That in coaching very frequently, you might work with the metaphor of life and Actually I, myself as a coach, I can not really talk about some other people’s sessions, but I can talk about her because after numerous sessions, I recorded two interviews with her.

And one of the interview was discussion of coaching with me. And we were talking about one of the sessions. And imagine, while I was coaching her. I just saw that something was really very hard in her life and I just ask her, what is the metaphor of your life? And she told me that life for me is that I have a backpack, a heavy backpack, my backpack is on and I am going up and up and I’m sweating and it’s very hard.

It’s very unpleasant. Everything is absolutely hard. And you know what is very interesting for me, for example, to have a backpack is absolutely fantastic. So I like hiking and I like climbing mountains. For example, a few weeks ago, I went to Kyrgyzstan. For 10 days, I was hiking there like 4, 000 meters.

Sometimes my backpack was 10 or even 12 kilograms of weight, for me, even despite the fact that it was very hard. For me, it’s fantastic. Just like for me, when I hike, when I carry my backpack, so it is just adventurous, but for her, it was not adventurous for her. It was burden. And I asked her, would you like to change this metaphor that life is burden?

And she said, can I said, of course you can. So how would you like. To look at your life because your life might be anything you can imagine. And she says, Oh, that’s wonderful. I am just sitting it’s a plane is just flying and I’m drinking a glass of champagne and everything is fantastic.

Life is beautiful. So everything is just gorgeous. And I asked her, do you like it? And she said, yes. And next time, for example, when you see, or when you think that something very hard is happening, just like you can transform, you can you can start thinking, you can visualize it in different way.

Two days later, she called me and she told me, imagine today what has happened. She said that I have earned 12, 000. Just because of a new, of this new metaphor, something happened. I will not tell you what, something happened with, she told me, but I will not tell you. So something happened among her and someone, and she was going to behave the way she was going to react as the way she always did.

And suddenly she just told herself, Oh no. Let me imagine that. Life is wonderful that I am sitting and I’m drinking champagne, and life is not my brother, and it is not brother, and immediately the situation was solved in a few minutes time. And immediately she was offered 12, 000. Imagine not in dollars but but in rubles.

And she was so happy that she told me, I would like to pay 10 more sessions. I say, you don’t really need so many problems. No, I would like. So that was one of the things

Emily Bron: just redefining her vision just. Giving the different perspective on probably the same circumstances she had brought her to different outcome.

Anna Litovkina: Absolutely. And and later on, she went to, She had this mentor. She had that mentor. She learned this. She started sometimes attending the sessions of psychologists and so on. And and her life has really changed and it is not the money because she earns a lot of money and she has always earned a lot of money.

It’s not the money, but it’s just You can have all the money of the world, but if you’re not happy, if money doesn’t make you happy and for her, she started having this kind of feeling that something is and I think this is what we what you or what me, we learned in May when we went to Montenegro to this festival, the age of happiness.

So how to be happier. How to have more enjoyable life.

Emily Bron: But I would say sometimes we need supporters like you, coaches. Many people need just to bring you back because with circumstances of our life, we might get, out of this positive thinking or Correct thinking I would say and sometimes we need somebody who will bring us back That’s why I believe people looking for coaches like you and I believe it’s mostly It’s very important in every age But in midlife when we have really some burden of the past mistakes and maybe you know Not very lucky circumstances or losses in our life.

It became more and more important to, to be on this in this correct positive attitude, which I can tell not always so easy to attain.

Anna Litovkina: A lot of people actually, a lot of people come to me when they watch some of my interviews and they like my energy and they like my no, this kind of flight.

And I really feel very happy about this.

Emily Bron: . So it’s contagious. Yes.

Anna Litovkina: . There is a proverb in English misery loves company. Just like if you’re miserable so a lot of people might also become very miserable around you, but another one, and this is which I prefer. Smile and the world smiles with you.

Cry and you cry along. And I think it’s much better to smile and to laugh, especially these days when there is much misery in the world when there are numerous wars. And so to help people, yes, it’s very important.

Emily Bron: The concept of redefining our lifestyle and purpose at midlife is pivotal to my podcast, to our podcast.

How do you define the freedom at midlife in context of reinvention? Can you provide insights or examples from your coaching practice or your personal life that exemplifies this idea?

Anna Litovkina: It was a few decades ago when I decided that I’m not going to work just for money. So my father was extremely happy person.

He was a physicist. My brother is also a physicist and my father really loved his job. He liked hiking, kayaking. He had a lot of friends and he always said that just you should work not for money, but you should work because you like doing what you do, and I’m extremely lucky.

I think I’m extremely lucky that I got my degree and immediately I got a job, and so I like my job. I have liked all my jobs at various universities so from this point of view it is it is extremely important for me to, Like what I do it’s more important than anything else for me.

It’s very important to have time or enough time for doing sports. For example, yesterday in Hungary, it was extremely hot. I went high for example, hiking. I did about 20 kilometers of hiking about 1000 meters. Up and 1000 meters down. And all together, the hike was about 20 kilometers.

Today, for example, I went in the morning I spent a few hours with their with an acquaintance. We went to Turkish baths a few days ago, I did about 120 kilometers. I rode a bike tomorrow I’m going to spend a wonderful day with my daughter and with my granddaughter. My granddaughter is about 11 months old.

The day after tomorrow, I’m going to opera. On Thursday, I’m going to record an interview about the psychology of justice. And on Friday, I’m going to have a five day trip. I just want to explain to you that basically I do not really follow this kind of program or this kind of vision new freedom lifestyle.

But this is what I have been doing all the time.

Emily Bron: So for you, it’s natural.

Anna Litovkina: For me, it’s absolutely natural. So it’s not that someone tells me what I should do or just like move somewhere or do this. For example, this is what I know that if I want. To like my life, I need to relax a lot.

I need to do sports. And this is what I like to ski, to hike to swim and to have good friends to have good relationships and and so on. And this is what I do without thinking about any kind of new trends. And if I think about My clients, why do people want to have a coach?

Because actually the vast majority of clients who come to coaching, they’re extremely successful, but they would like to become even more successful. This is why they need a coach. And for example, it’s fine that I’m not only a coach, but I also have a background in psychology.

But what is really wonderful that for many people, they reach a lot of happiness, but they do not feel that they’re happy. This is a very big problem with a lot of people, especially with a lot of business people who work in business. So they have a lot of money and a lot of my clients, they own maybe 20 times more money than me, maybe 100 times more.

But you know what? There are a lot of proverbs about money, just like money can’t bring you happiness. And money isn’t everything. And for a lot of people, it’s just money and they do not allow themselves to have a good conversation with someone to relax, to do something, even just to drink a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, or maybe a glass of champagne or a glass of wine, but not in Half a minute time, but just like when you drink it and when you enjoy every single sip.

So just to be mindful, to be at this particular moment. And I think that from this point of view, It’s very important. Years ago I attended the course mindfulness based stress reduction course John Kabat Zinn. I love him so much.

Emily Bron: So I read all his books in the past.

Yeah, the best what I can say for me, and I’m happy for you in this field where there are so many other names lately but he’s the first and only for me.

Anna Litovkina: Yes, absolutely. And I attended his eight or a week course on mindfulness. And I think actually for me, that was absolutely something absolutely fantastic.

When, when you just realize that you do not want to do everything Just like multitasking because I’m a very good multitasker. I can do so many things I am very efficient, but the problem is that you do not really want to be a multitasker. If you want to be happier, it’s better to be involved just in one kind of thing.

It’s not good if you listen to a lecture, for example, and meanwhile, if you are texting to your friend, simply you can not do both of them in very good ways. And I think this is also fantastic. So I do a lot of things. I sometimes with my daughter we sometimes organize some retreats.

We call this retreats mindfulness. Hike for example and yoga retreats. My daughter is responsible for yoga. I’m responsible for happiness. Both of us are responsible for hikes. And we have wonderful participants. We do this programs here in English. And hopefully when My granddaughter is a little bit older.

We will start doing these retreats again. Two years ago, one of our participants came from Switzerland. Can you imagine that? My daughter was responsible for writing letters. We thought she was about 20 – 25. And imagine a woman who was over 75, a guest to retreat on yoga, hiking, mindfulness, and psychology of happiness.

We were absolutely just amazed. So since that time, she has visited me here in Budapest. So we have done a lot of programs. We have also visited her in Switzerland. So this when I have a look at these people, I have a friend of mine who is over 80, she’s 85. And for example, she writes books.

Last year, three books of hers were published two years ago four books of her were published. So she started dealing with this just a few years ago. So a lot of people, a lot of people can do new things or you can continue doing old things. You can enjoy doing it.

Emily Bron: I believe that problem with many people, it’s what I notice.

At least in North America, it’s overburdened with work, with business tasks. That’s why this multitasking, which business is required today, or full time job, where there is more and more pressure on quality of work. And actually multitasking for years was part of the job requirements for many position.

And I know it from the Personal experience, and even people who liked their job initially became really tired, frustrated, stressed out. What you would recommend for people like that, and specifically now when they’re moving to the midlife, when you cannot perform, on a speed, and actually you don’t need to do multitasking, but it’s requirements for your job.

So how, and there is a problem of balance. So people so tired from their work in North America, at least what I see, that with all their love and desire to relax, they feel that, it is perpetual mobile and they cannot get from the wheel.

Anna Litovkina: Research shows that if you do multitasking, you are not good in this.

For example, if you do two different things, you are not good in, in two of them. So it’s much better. You are more efficient if you do not do multitasking. For example, research shows that for example in numerous firms you are required to respond to email letters. Maybe for example you need to check email letters maybe 10 times an hour, or maybe even more frequently.

And imagine if you write something, if you write an essay, and if every five or 10 minutes you need to check something simply you lose your ideas, you lose your sentences. So it is not good. For me, it’s very hard to recommend to such people. For example, I myself, I wouldn’t go to such job.

Emily Bron: Not all people have flexibility of finding the job specifically when they in midlife and it’s harsh reality that like I noticed on myself and I was very good at multitasking years ago.

Anna Litovkina: I’m a very good multitasker. My mother was such a good multitasker that I learned from her.

But when we talk about multitasking, imagine I can put for example, something in the oven. I can also put something into my washing machine. I can also do this other things. This is very good. This is what we do permanently. And I think it’s absolutely good to do certain things.

But multitasking is, for example, you record an interview. And if there is my cell phone near me, I just suddenly start mental multitasking. So this is simply not good if people do not feel as happy, so people feel happy even if you are involved.

Research has showed, for example, in Hartford, there are some scholars I don’t remember now their names but they have fantastic TED talks on this, on happiness is when your mind doesn’t wonder. So even if you sweep your floors, it’s much better if you just sweep your floors. And if you concentrate on this, or if you do certain other things, it’s much better if you do that way.

But the vast majority of people and especially young people they do this kind of multitasking. A couple of weeks ago, I went to the opera. It was fantastic. My favorite Traviata. In front of me one person was permanently checking his Facebook. Someone else was using WhatsApp. So for me, it is just amazing. Why are you there? Why aren’t you listening? This music is so

Emily Bron: beautiful. It’s addiction. Sometimes people feel they just sometimes you wait for important message, but it might be one or two, but it’s just automatic performance.

Anna Litovkina: And the problem is that nowadays we are basically, we are forced to do it.

People who deal with marketing, people who deal with advertising, they know how to attract our attention. And from this point of view, I think if you are mindful, if you want to live a mindful life, so in this case, I just have to say no.

No to multitasking of this car no to scrolling, no to many other things because simply it is not my life. I’m not talking that just like never do the Facebook. I have my Facebook page and I frequently post certain things there, but it’s okay if you do it a couple of times a day.

But if you. Do it once every five minutes. So this is a problem.

Emily Bron: It’s a problem with people who are not so strong, on planning their life or we hope we have different type of of our perception and how it’s working. And I believe that’s why many people looking for coaches, if they can help them.

Anna Litovkina: Absolutely. Yes. Because actually, a few years ago, I myself went to a coach I myself went to a coach maybe five years ago because I realized, especially when I started having my YouTube channel, I just realized that many times a day I wanted to check how many viewers my interviews had.

And it really disturbed me because, I mean, Does it matter if some of my interviews have five views or 20 views or 200 views? So it doesn’t really matter because the interview has been already done. And so I went to a coach. Sometimes you need to to develop some kind of strategy for this.

Emily Bron: Your work span multiple cultures and languages. And what have been some discoveries you’ve made about the universality of positivity in your global interactions? And why I’m asking this way? Because different cultures have specifics. And even jokes and humor in different languages, you should be on certain level of language development in order to to use humor and proverbs that you’re professional about.

But when you start conversation with new person from different culture, how you There are some secrets how to show up your positivity other than smile.

Anna Litovkina: First of all, I, do research in humor for more than 30 years. And I think that humor is really fascinating. I have attended numerous conferences on humor.

One of them was, for example, in us, in California I have agonized eight humor conferences in Hungary or in Slovakia, but I’m not good in telling jokes. I’m not good in being humorous, but I’m very good just in being positive.

For example, if I have some kind of problems with health. I think it’s not good just to be, I’m positive. If there is a certain problem, I need to go to a doctor or if there is something else. So I need to solve this problem. But when I solve this problem, it’s much better if I Start doing it in a positive way in constructive way.

In the way that, okay, I just ask myself, what can I do? How can I do if I start feeling angry or frustrated or sad, will it help me? And most frequently or almost always you will say no. Okay. A couple of times I behaved. That I showed that I was angry, but I was not really, I just was playing with someone for example, in the Montenegro in the hotel where we were staying they didn’t want to clean our rooms for a few days.

And so I think it was on the fifth day when I went to reception and simply I just, Pretended that I was extremely angry and furious but inside I was not. And three minutes later, a cleaner came and cleaned our room.

So I should have done it more frequently there, but I didn’t.

Emily Bron: I’ve had the same situation actually. Three days I was waiting. Working on my patience.

Anna Litovkina: first of all, I do not really like complaining. But in case if something is not really good for me, or I find the situation is not good, Instead of complaining, I just ask myself a question.

How can I solve it? What can I do now? Or, maybe something has already happened. Maybe I cannot change this situation. In June, I had a conversation with one of my friends. And so she did something I didn’t really like really. And I just told her, okay, now you have already done it.

And I told her that please tell me how next time we should. agree how we should communicate with you that this thing doesn’t happen. And I think it’s a kind of positivity that, that I believe that with this person, we can have better relationship. And I share it with her a few years ago when the pandemic started, I attended the course on laughter yoga.

And it was really fantastic. For one month, every single day, we were supposed to spend at least 10 minutes, but maybe one hour, it depended on how free we were that day. People from various countries in the world were supposed to meet.

And just to start laughing, nothing else. And they were five of us or 20 of us, or sometimes even about 500 people . It depended on the time. And we just started laughing and it was amazing when you just start laughing, you laugh without any reason.

Emily Bron: No, but here people go to this kind of courses or workshop with intention, but what in situation you met new person from different culture, even from culture you’ve very familiar with and you’re trying to get good relationship or good impression to connect, as we say, to connect with person.

Anna Litovkina: But if I want to connect with person main thing for me is not to talk about me, but main thing for me is to listen. Very few people can listen. For me, it’s just like to ask. This person about certain things which which are interesting for this person. So I think a better connection might happen with this.

And for example, if I ask a certain question and afterwards another question comes and afterwards this person ask a question when I’m really interested in an answer. Because, I’m a teacher of English, I’m also a coach, a psychologist, I can ask hundreds of questions immediately.

But if I do not listen, if I just ask. There is no connection . I have actually a wonderful interview. I recorded it here a few years ago. I attended a workshop on mindfulness and it was fantastic. And after this workshop I wrote letters to two American teachers of mindfulness who were present there.

So I just simply wrote down their names. I had never met them before that I wrote to them and I offered to them to record interviews about mindfulness. And with one of them, we recorded an interviews about mindful listening. And for example, this teacher, she’s from New York. In her opinion, it’s the most important thing which can connect us.

So it’s not that I show you my positivity because imagine if you are not in good mood, if we start laughing, you might not even join us. Or if you have some kind of frustration, if you are very sad, if you’re angry and so on. If I show to you that I am so happy, I’m so positive you might become irritated by my positivity.

So from this point of view it’s very important, for example, just like if I have higher level of positivity than you at this particular moment, it’s much better for me if I get a little bit down. And if I start asking you some questions about you and there is a word in theory of communications called mirroring.

If I mirror you afterwards, maybe when I ask you a couple of questions maybe I can take you out of the spiral of negativity by asking some questions. But do you know what the vast majority of people do in this case? I ask you a question.

And I remember years ago, I was living in a house of Barbara. She was a wonderful woman, but she could not listen at all. So I rented a room in her house and I wanted to talk to someone in English because I got my Fulbright scholarship for one year and I didn’t want to live alone with my daughter and I wanted to be next to some Americans and to be able to talk. After a couple of hours, I realized that it would be very hard for me to talk, but I thought, okay, that’s fine if I can not talk to her, but I can listen to her.

You say something after one sentence, immediately she interrupts and she starts talking about her thing. And for example once her son came and he had dinner with us and he said, mommy, I am so miserable now. My wife has just told me that she’s going to divorce me. And imagine, what his mom says, I feel so, so sorry.

Son, when 20 years ago, your dad told me that I’m going to divorce you. And she started talking about herself and this is what the vast majority of people do. So they ask a question but afterwards, immediately they want to talk about themselves. And in this case you went on to have a deep connection.

Emily Bron: Yeah. She thought that maybe by her own example and. Okay, and I am okay now, she will support him, but from his perspective, at this moment, he needed something else.

Anna Litovkina: He got so angry with her, he left, he didn’t even finish having lunch with her, so he just left the house. Because simply, he needed help at that particular moment.

And help would have been great. That she just listens and sometimes you just listen, you nod, and you say, Oh, I feel so sorry. You give a kiss, you hug this person and so on so you give some kind of empathy. But what she did, it was it was not empathy at all.

She wanted to connect, and the vast majority of people connect this way. This is a very big problem.

Emily Bron: But some people just don’t know how, even they lived long life, or there is something in between, even in family, between parents and children, that stop us of hugging each other.

Anna Litovkina: There is a movement, free hugs in Budapest.

There is a guy years ago, he started here. He’s from England. He started having this events, free hugs, Budapest. I think that they’re everywhere. Free hugs in some other cities as well. When, if you do not have enough I haven’t taken part in it but I have read about it and I have seen some videos about it.

Emily Bron: Even in our festival, Age of Happiness, the first day I would say the first assignment we get to hug person near you, which you don’t know and obviously you cannot hug everyone on the street, but probably with some preparation you can do it. But. Yes, people get out of close relationship.

In general, we became more closed inside. Or we afraid to express our feelings because sometimes we are not sure how person will accept it. And we need some

Anna Litovkina: preparation.

And I think it’s very important, at least for me it’s very important to have close friends.

It’s very important to have friends. It’s very important to share my feelings. Not I’m so angry with you. No because the vast majority of my friends, I have never been angry with them. So why should I share some kind of anger? but it’s very important.

Years ago, I read a book who I don’t remember what kind of book it was, but in the book, they pointed out that if you have at least one person whom you can call any time of day or night You will live four years more. Can you imagine that? And I have a very good friend of mine.

Actually, he’s my coauthor. We have organized conferences and we do a lot of events with him. And we started discussing this and I asked and we were talking and and he told me, yes, you can call us, you can call me and my wife. I say, you can also call me and my wife. And I really know it doesn’t mean that, that I will frequently call your at night, just but it’s very good that just years ago, yeah.

Something terrible happens in my life. And I just knew that who I will call immediately. And it was really fantastic to talk to to this friend of mine. Or once maybe 20 years ago when I’m also something very bad happened in my life, I called two friends of mine and I told them, if you could come to me, And they came to me and I was crying for maybe half an hour and I was talking and we spent a few hours together and it was such a fantastic feeling.

And a few years later, the same happened with one of my friends. She asked me, can I spend a few days with you? Can I live with you? Because really I’m not okay. I say, of course, come and stay. And I think it’s really helped us.

Emily Bron: Anna, I’m with you 150 percent of it, and it’s how I grew up and understood the relationship.

What I noticed lately, at least in North America, I’m not sure how in Europe, this notion that you need to be surrounded only by positive people, which we are when circumstances are positive, or even worse, you should get out of negativity. You should shield yourself from the negativity, which unfortunately sometimes, or might be often, part of our life at some period of time, it’s what I noticed.

So people afraid, even their friends okay, get to yourself and maybe after then I will connect with you. First of all it’s painful and you feel that you don’t have friends when you need them. But they legitimize this by this notion okay, we need to be, we like positive energy. We like positive, everyone likes, good attitude.

And I feel that people sometimes afraid, they will Waste the emotional energy, or not only in time.

Anna Litovkina: Yes because if you do not have enough strength inside if you are empty inside or if you yourself, very negative person, it might be very hard for you to take someone’s negativity.

And I do not talk that you should surround yourself with negative people. When I say that I also prefer surrounding myself with positive people, but in lives of all positive people, once in a life, Someone will die once in a life. Maybe you break up with your husband or with your boyfriend once in a while tragedy happens with everyone and from this point of view I think it’s very good if you have such friends with whom you can discuss it. And I have such friends and I feel very happy about it. In U. S. I have some friends or I used to have some friends who are either psychologists or psychotherapists in the U.

S. very frequently. Just if there is a problem, you are supposed to go to a psychotherapist or you’re supposed to go to a psychologist or to psychodrama and so on. But in Hungary, it’s not the case. And I agree that there are some people there, now it’s very trendy to talk about toxic people, toxic relationships.

And some of them, always complain. Some of them. Always say very negative things. So I think we should get rid of such people. But if someone has this particular problem in this moment, so I think that I, as a friend, if I do not help at least emotionally.

Emily Bron: People don’t have friends.

That’s why they go to psychologist or they’re losing because like your problem, decided work on it professionally. And that’s why I believe the whole industry of psychologists with all respect, and there are many professionals when you need sometimes to help with some problems, but because people don’t have friends.

I realized that three years ago, why society in developing world, as they say, they don’t have psychologists, but they’re happier because they have family and friends. But with our smaller family and with a lot of divorces and, empty nesting and people found that they’re in a situation where they need support.

And again, going back to transformation and midlife, and I would like to wrap up maybe with additional nuggets of wisdom from you. What you would advise people who embracing the change in the midlife, it might be relocation or immigration, somebody say, it might be decision retiring from your previous life, I would say, to new life it’s a big stressor for many people.

What you would advise?

Anna Litovkina: First of all, if you speak Russian, I would advise please watch my interviews because I have recorded at least three interviews two interviews with their American psychologist, but in Russian, they live in America, and one interview with the psychologist from, or psychotherapist from Israel about relocation, adaptation, and immigration.

First of all, I think We should try not to lie to ourselves. So if there is certain a problem in our life either you go to a coach, go to a psychologist in case if this is needed.

I do the so called self coaching. Or you can ask yourself some questions, but you ask yourself open questions like, what do I want now? What kind of life do I want to have in five years time? Another question is very good question. if I continue. Live in the life now, what is going to happen with me in five years time?

Or for example what happens if I do it? What, what happens if I don’t do it or what doesn’t happen if I do it? What doesn’t what happens if I don’t do it? And so if you ask this kind of question, but try not to lie to you. A few years ago, I asked my friend who was in very unhappy marriage.

And she got sick. She was taken to hospital and I asked her what do you think? I asked her what is going to happen with you in 10 years time If you continue Having life like you have now She said I’m going to die by that time and what about five years time I will die by that time as well.

And a few weeks later, she decided to divorce and she was so happy that she could do it. She was in that relationship for 40 years. So imagine for 40 years and it was extremely toxic relationship, but she was afraid of doing it. But, sometimes, if someone has for example this disease , someone has another problem, just ask yourself this question and afterwards. You can also ask yourself a question.

And what can I do now? In order to become happier. So I think actually every single day we should ask ourselves this question. For example, how can I make my life happier now? If I watch some terrible news, will it help me or will I be able to help people in Israel, if I spend five hours a day watching the news about the problems, or if I watch what is happening now in Ukraine or here or there.

So How will it happen? How will it help me and how will it help them? And if you answer your question, if a few days ago I talked to a friend of mine who lives in Kyiv and my father was born in Ukraine. My father was born in haka and my mother was born in Russia.

And her. And I have friends in Ukraine and in Russia. And we were talking about certain things and she lives in Kiev and she’s so positive. You can find some people who might be in terrible circumstances. If I don’t ask her, do you have electricity right now?

If I don’t ask her, what about this and that? Yep. connected to the war. She will never talk about this, but she talks to you that, I have started knitting a new sweater or a few weeks ago, I took part in a competition. I did this and that. And and you see how happy you can be, even if if there is happening even if there is a war in your country.

Emily Bron: Yes, it’s a art and it’s a skill. It’s sometimes and I’ve been recently in Ukraine. Yes, people living their life and it’s amazing that, despite the war, people continue to live. And I know it’s very important and I lived myself through similar situation. And sometimes when you compare, the life circumstances, it’s really give you as a person living in safe country, different look at at circumstances and help you to evaluate your situation because it was comparable.

Anna Litovkina: Absolutely. And years ago when the war started almost two years and a half ago I have a friend of mine with whom we also studied at university of practical psychology. She lives in Vienna and You know, Vienna, it’s not Russia. It’s not Ukraine. It’s Vienna.

And she felt so frustrated. Everyone was shocked, but she felt so frustrated. And I told her, call this PO files hours who lives in Kyiv. And you will learn from her the girl who lives in Kyiv how you can be happy, much happier than you are. I think It is very interesting but there are some people, yes, and we saw a lot of very happy people who live in Israel,

Emily Bron: yes, it’s valuable thoughts to look around on other people but for some people, anyway, they need encouragement in their particular situation, and please tell us how people can connect with you if they have certain questions.

Anna Litovkina: First of all, I have a Facebook. I also have LinkedIn.

I also have YouTube channel and I also have an email. But I think the best way to connect this through LinkedIn or through the Facebook

Emily Bron: I would like to clarify that, Your workshops and courses are in Russian. You’re working now for this target auditory.

Anna Litovkina: Yes, I do not have online or workshops now.

If I have some workshops, I have them at my university in Slovakia. But who knows, maybe one day I will start having workshops.

Emily Bron: And it’s exactly my last question for today, what is the next in Anna Litovkina’s journey of continuous growth and learning?

Anna Litovkina: Okay. I will tell you. It was about two years ago. No, one year and a half ago. In last summer or so. I attended two courses. And they were just terrible. So I paid some money because, I like really learning, I like studying or, and it just, so that one of them was on communication.

Another one was done by a psychiatrist. And they were so terrible that I even just couldn’t even finish these courses despite the fact that normally when I start doing something and so now I’m not really. A very big fan of attending numerous courses. I prefer learning myself.

There are so many fantastic videos on YouTube. There are so many fantastic people. For example I really like watching various videos with seminars and so on. Done by Alexey Aristovich, I think he is just genius. and he has the school of thinking, which is called Aperon.

Unfortunately, the classes, they are extremely expensive. So I would really be very happy. if I could have such a teacher as Aristovich. Not propagandist. I’m not talking about propaganda because but about his philosophical and his psychological views. I really think that he is fantastic.

I have a list of courses, which I would like to attend.

I would like to do Vipassana, for example, I would like to do a silent Vipassana one day. I don’t know when, but one day I would like to do it. I would also like to do El Camina.

And yesterday while I was hiking with some people two of them had already been to El Camina. If I go to El Camino, I will do it just on my own because what they say that it’s the best if you do it just on your own.

There are numerous countries where I would like to travel and I would like to hike a lot. For example, last year I went to Azerbaijan and I did some fun. 4, 000 meters. I was sleeping in a tent 4, 000 meters high. This year I went to Kyrgyzstan and also we was hiking just like 3, 000, 4, 000 meters.

We were hiking there for 10 days and there are numerous places in the world where I would like to go. to to hike. And I would like to record numerous interviews. There are a lot of people with whom I would like so actually I have already some agreements for this Thursday and next week in two weeks time and so on.

So numerous interviews. I have actually, maybe the person in the English language world with whom I would like to record an interview would be John Kabat Zinn. But I haven’t asked him to do it. So maybe I should ask, maybe I should write because I think I’m not good enough.

Emily Bron: No.

It’s, you probably just need to find a way to approach him. And I believe he’s very busy person and, with his full schedule. Anna, I was really enjoying our conversation, and I wish you very success in your each project, plan, interview travel, work, workshops, or whatever you will do, and I believe there is a lot of things for you.

And I wish the same for all of our listeners.

Anna Litovkina: Thank you very much, Emily, for inviting me to be the guest of your podcast. And I would like to also to wish you and your listeners to have the most the most fantastic lives of joy and happiness and life full of transformation because we do transformation every single day.

So we change and it’s better if we ourselves plan certain kind of changes. Thank you.

Emily Bron: Thank you. See you soon.

As our conversation and the echoes of wisdom subsides, We wrap up another enriching episode of Age of Reinvention. A big thank you to our esteemed guest Anna Litovkina for sharing her delightful stories and invaluable insights into the transformative power of humor, positive thinking in the process of self reinvention.

Dear listeners, today’s conversation has left you feeling motivated and I hope equipped with some fresh ideas to infuse positivity into your life’s next chapter. If Anna’s words have sparked curiosity or lit a path for your midlife transition, we encourage you to explore her work through her books, courses, and engaging social media presence.

You can find the links below the interview and remember the journey of reinvention is as much about finding joy in the process of it as it about reaching new destinations. Until next time, keep laughing, dreaming, working towards your target. and reinventing because the best chapters of your story are waiting to be written.

Thank you for tuning in to Age of Reinvention. Be sure to join us for our next episode and in the meantime stay inspired and positive. Goodbye for now.

Anna Litovkina

Anna Litovkina is a Professor at J. Selye University in Slovakia, originally from Moscow and now living in Budapest. She holds a PhD in ethnography and is also a habilitated doctor in linguistics, psychologist, coach, and reporter. Anna has taught linguistics, folklore, and cultural studies at universities in Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, and Kazakhstan. She has also led workshops on productivity, conflict management, and motivation. A Fulbright Scholar, she has conducted research at UC Berkeley and Oxford University and has lectured globally. Anna has authored or co-authored 21 books, over 100 scholarly articles, and co-edited 12 volumes.

Welcome to the latest episode of “Age of Reinvention,” your go-to podcast for inspiring stories, strategies, and insights on navigating midlife reinvention’s exciting and often challenging journey. We enjoyed speaking with the luminous Dr. Anna Litovkina in this enlightening session. With a career that spans academia, psychology, and coaching, Dr. Litovkina’s insights on positivity, humour, and personal transformation should be noticed.

Meet Dr. Anna Litovkina

Dr. Anna Litovkina, a Distinguished Professor at Hans Selye University in the Slovak Republic, a multilingual author, an internationally recognized speaker, and a beacon of optimism with over 150 scientific publications, unfolds the power of positivity and humor. Her contagious enthusiasm guides us to turn ambition into achievement, leaving us uplifted and optimistic.

The Journey of Reinvention

Dr. Litovkina shared her incredible journey of pursuing a Master of Art in Practical Psychology at the age of 55. This decision was driven by her fascination with psychology and desire to learn from some of the field’s most exceptional minds. Her journey was not without its challenges, but it didn’t mean giving up her career as a professor. Instead, she added another layer to her already rich career tapestry, inspiring us all with her resilience and determination.

She emphasized the importance of understanding basic psychological principles to lead a happier life, underscoring her belief in lifelong learning and self-improvement.

The Power of Positivity

One of the key lessons Anna Litovkina emphasized is the transformative power of changing one’s perspective. Through the compelling story of a client who redefined her life’s metaphor from a burdensome journey to an enjoyable flight, she showcased how a shift in mindset can lead to substantial positive change.

Anna reminded us that having all the money in the world is meaningless if one is unhappy.

Embracing Cultural Diversity

Having lived and worked in various countries, including Hungary, Russia, and the United States, Dr. Litovkina’s understanding of different cultures adds depth to her coaching and teaching methods. She believes in the power of adaptability and flexibility, qualities that have helped her thrive in diverse environments.

She considers herself a world citizen and emphasizes the importance of a global outlook.

Mindfulness and Presence

In a world where multitasking is often seen as necessary, Dr. Anna Litovkina advocates for mindfulness and being present. She argues that genuinely engaging with one task at a time increases efficiency and enhances enjoyment and satisfaction, making us feel focused and present.

She also shared her experiences with mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) courses led by Jon Kabat-Zinn, which have profoundly influenced her approach to life and coaching.

Support Networks

One of the most moving parts of the conversation was emphasizing the importance of support networks. Dr. Litovkina highlighted the value of having close friends and the ability to reach out to them in times of need, making us feel reassured and connected.

Research shows that having at least one person you can call at any time can significantly increase your lifespan, emphasizing the importance of social connections.

Looking Ahead

Anna Litovkina continues to make plans for her future, including travel, hiking, and recording insightful interviews. She also wanted to participate in additional courses and retreats, like the Vipassana and El Camino walks. These plans not only show her commitment to personal growth but also give us a glimpse of what’s to come in her inspiring journey.

Conclusion

Dr. Anna Litovkina’s story is a testament to the endless possibilities for growth and transformation at any stage of life. Her dedication to learning, teaching, and helping others find happiness and purpose is truly inspiring. Whether navigating a career change, looking to inject more joy into your life, or simply seeking inspiration, Dr. Litovkina’s insights offer valuable lessons.

We’d love to hear your stories of midlife reinvention. Please share them with us on our social media platforms or via email. To connect with Dr. Anna Litovkina, you can find her on Facebook, LinkedIn, or her YouTube channel. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovery.

Stay tuned for more episodes of “Age of Reinvention” to continue your path to a fulfilling midlife transformation.