Reinventing Life: Navigating Midlife Tales of Change and Purpose

In this episode of Age of Reinvention, we’re thrilled to host Lee Tunney Ware, a leader in personal and business development. Discover Lee’s journey overcoming challenges and shaping successful coaching services. Gain insights into entrepreneurship, achieving life balance, and harnessing personal energy. Get inspired to navigating midlife and tackle new challenges head-on!

TIMESTAMP:

02:15 Lee Tunney Ware’s Early Life and Defining Moments
05:38 Lessons in Resilience and Coaching Techniques
09:48 Family and Personal Insights
11:22 Debunking Myths About Success
12:44 Harnessing Energy and Presence
24:26 Aligning Thoughts and Actions
24:44 The Role of Communication and Empathy
26:10 Balancing Family and Business
28:27 Understanding Client Relationships
31:37 The Power of Presence
38:07 Recharging and Self-Care
43:00 Advice for Midlife Reinvention
46:11 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Emily Bron: Hello to my listeners. Welcome back to Age of Reinvention. How to find new freedom lifestyle and purpose at midlife. The podcast that your friendly guide to navigate the adventurous road of life’s second act. we are absolutely thrilled to introduce you a very special guest, Lee Tunney Ware, a true Titan in the realm of personal and business development.

His journey from overcoming early obstacles to empowering others to reach their goals is a shining example of resilience, adaptability, and real courage. This is a narrative and voice that’s bound to captivate you. Ready to explore the world of entrepreneurship, balance, and life reinvention at any stage.

Fantastic because Lee’s insight as a gold mine of actionable strategies, seasoned with humor and few life lessons, we can all apply. Hi Lee, so happy to see you in my studio today.

Lee Tunney: Very good. It’s good to be here. It’s good to see you as well. Love your glasses.

Emily Bron: Thank you. Thank you. And again, Lee, it’s truly inspiring for me and I believe to all our listeners who will know you that you are with us today.

Your personal journey of entrepreneurship is a testament to your unique spirit. Because leaving school, just being eight years old and forging your own path in the future it’s pretty unique. Could you share how this early leap shaped the heart of transform coaching and consultancy services that you are leading today?

And perhaps what was a defining moment where you realized this is my calling?

Lee Tunney: It’s a good question. How far do I have to go back? A long way on the sound of it. I suppose I’ve traced the pivotal moment. I never realized I was doing what I was doing when I did it. But it was more about my brother being bullied at school that was my defining moment.

We grew up in Ireland in the late 60s, early 70s, and to have an accent like my brother and I’ve got wouldn’t be a good thing. Even though we are of our family’s Irish, but our accents didn’t explain that. So we would have got a lot of bullying.

My brother was partially sighted and a little bit autistic. So he already had, could already join, draw attention to himself, but it got quite extreme and there seemed to be no letting up. And I remember taking my brother out of school. Eight and a half. I was eight and a half. He was older than me and I said we’re leaving and we left school and went home.

Leaving school was easy. It was more when I got home, mum wasn’t impressed. And then mum said wait till your dad gets home. And my dad, he was a good entrepreneur, very good man in many ways. But in those times they didn’t spare the stick. So I was told that we were going back to school. I told him we weren’t.

And He asked for a bit of a hiding, and he said, Hey teacher, you’ll be going to school tomorrow, and I told him no. And the reason I said no was that I knew it wasn’t the right thing for my brother. I was quite happy to go back to school, because they half left me alone. Why is that my pivotal moment?

It’s because I learned to commit to a future then, and I’ve never let go of that skill. I think if I had a superpower, it’s being able to decide, as in to assess the data and know what’s the right outcome or the right route to market, whatever, and commit to that. And that commitment could be what some might call resilience or what some might call grit.

It’s, I just hold on to that future, because I think a lot of people see it as a decision. I see it as creating the future, so then I just hold on to that future, and anything that’s said in real time or done, I just hold on to the future. And that’s really been my superpower throughout my life, really.

Whether that answers your question, Emily, I think it does, but we need to be questioned a bit more on it if you want.

Emily Bron: Thank you. But still, as someone who has woven resilience into the very fabric of their life, your story is a real inspiration. Could you share a time when you drawn this lesson of inspiration, resilience of self worth and bounce back that you now pass on to your coaching clients.

Lee Tunney: Oh, very good. It’s probably easier to hear with my kids. Yeah, because it’s the same technique. Four of my kids have fought for their country at the same time at high level international karate. They ruled that only 80 kids fight for the country, and they done it four years running. It was only because of COVID they stepped out.

That transference, it sounds like it’s something you give or something you teach. It’s more being able to go in with your words or with your communication or interaction to be able to get a hold of that peace inside somebody that’s truly them. Away from the noise or the overthinking or the imposter, away from the doubts, away from the fears.

It’s to navigate past because they’ll tell you I don’t think I can do that leap. I don’t imagine I can do that leap. There are two different bits of data. One’s thought, one’s imagined. So it’s, I can’t see it in my mind. I can’t imagine that. So if they can’t imagine it, they can’t create it. If they can’t think it now, think as it decide to reason that into a strategy along with the vision.

So you unite those two, and then you’ve got to, when you decide or commit to it, you’ve got to align your emotions with it as well, so you’re not, otherwise you can get burnout. It’s because it’s not a will thing. It’s not a willpower. A lot of people communicate that way, but it’s not a willpower. So asking the right questions, facilitating, it’s not mentorship, coaching is asking the right questions and nudging them.

And sometimes their feelings. All their thoughts are come to the surface and that can be quite a challenging moment to navigate because it can be felt or imagined or thought of as an attack because their feelings are going to come to the surface and it’s being able to see that piece inside them and go to that piece and so that piece to me would be their complete self, their flow, their synergy.

And to not, even though they’re talking to you, the words and the language, and they’re giving you the metaphors and it feels like this Lee, and you don’t understand, they give you all of that, but it’s been able to hear beyond that. And when you can hear that piece in somebody and speak to that, then you can bring the best of them out.

Because I think the life and society education and not in a negative, but I think it can layer us. It can, some, it can feel like it’s buried them where I prefer the look at it as planting you. It plants you. So it’s not a resilience. It’s once you find that piece in you, you can grow right through all of what’s been put on you.

So I think that’s the easiest way. So when I’m working with clients with my kids, it’s the, I’ve known them since they took their first breath. Some play at high level rugby, some at Karate, so be there to bring the best out of them. And for them to have that peace in them, it’s a similar thing with clients.

Your children trust you. You want to do your best for them. You want them to not make the mistakes you’ve made. You want them to have the easiest life going forward. So with respect, my clients are like my kids. I have the same value for them. I want them to succeed. Sometimes I have to have the straight talk with them, I do with my kids.

But it’s having that depth that you’re that committed to their success and that committed to finding that superpower within them so they can have that success. I think that answers it, my friend. Hopefully it does.

Emily Bron: They say children are our best teachers, actually.

Lee Tunney: Definitely. And I’ve got 11, so I have a lot of teaching.

I’ve learned a lot of learning.

Emily Bron: You can show the picture. I see half picture of your wonderful family. And I remember it’s always in your mind and your way of thinking and operating. Yes.

Lee Tunney: And they’re not all there, believe it or not. That’s only, I’ll bring it closer. Not all 11 here? No. Okay. They’re not all there, because a couple of those are girlfriends of All the boys are there.

That would be Isaac, Jake, Alex, Josh, William, Tom, so all the boys are there. But these are two of the boys girlfriends, but that’s Phoebe Olivia, and Poppy.

Emily Bron: And you have Emily, I remember. Emily, special Emily you have.

Lee Tunney: Yeah, Olivia we thought.

Emily Bron: Olivia, okay.

Lee Tunney: I like pictures, it reminds me like is, this is them when they’re a bit younger and that’s with Shelby and Sapphire.

That’s Shelby and that’s Sapphire and they’re not in that picture. So there’s one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, yeah, all eleven are there plus one of my granddaughters, the one in front with this little girl here is my granddaughter.

Emily Bron: Fascinating to see your children, all your children together.

And again, coming back to our topic of reinvention at midlife navigating high pressure environments can be a tough nut to crack. From your treasure trove of experiences. What is the most common myth about success that you debunk for your clients, especially those superhero achievers stepping into their midlife reinvention?

Lee Tunney: Very good. There’s a couple of parts that wouldn’t be what you would call abnormal that I hold on to. I don’t do belief and I don’t do trust. In my world, if I need belief in somebody or trust in somebody, then I must distrust them or distrust myself. If I’m dealing with vulnerable, credible people, then I know who they are.

And if they’ve got a word, they’re going to tell me what they’re going to do. And I hold them at their word. So I don’t need trust. I just need agreement. I don’t do expectations. What is it you want to achieve? Why do you want to achieve it? Yeah. And if it’s income based, that’s it. And we all want income.

Yeah. But some of us just focus on the cash. And, that’s great. And then we focus on the feedings. We focus on the goals to get us the feedings. We focus on the cash to get the house. We focus on the cash to get the car or the big mansion, whatever. I focus on the feelings. I find if you focus on the feelings and you unite your emotions your biology, yeah, as in your autonomic nervous system, the gut’s good and the heart’s good, and you’ve got your chi good, your spirit, you can align those three energies.

Then all you’ve got to do then is use your head top computer with your thoughts and your imagination to align the energy. What’s the energy going to do? What’s your joy and happiness? What’s your motivation, your motor, your biology going to do? Yeah, what’s your chi, your excitement, your passion, your purpose going to do?

You get those energies right. United. And you put those with now you’ve got to decide what you’re going to do with that energy. But what I think a lot of people do is they think they imagine, and then they look to get their energy involved. I get the client’s energy or my energy involved first. Yeah. So what is it you’re excited about?

What gives you passion? What gives you drive? What gives you purpose? And why is that important to you? Intellectually? Do you understand why that’s important to you? Brilliant. Now, what do you want to achieve with that? Cause a lot of people focus on monetary and there’s nothing wrong with money. Yeah. And I was a millionaire by the time I was 20, just in between 20 and 21.

So I’m not, this isn’t like something I’ve learned from a book. This is something I learned to harness my energy at an early age. What I learned, how I learned to do it was from horses or animals dogs, cats, and horses, but horses mainly. I have an affinity with horses, yeah. Most animals I get on very well. I actually get on with animals better than I do people. But with horses or any animal, you have to be present. Now, a lot of people think that’s being in the now, but there is only the now.

However, if your energy is split, if your emotional energy is still in the past, or your motivation’s in the future, you’re actually, your emotional energy’s in the past because you’ve got trauma or hurt, your motivation is in the future, your pride is Might be in the bin, which means your pride’s in the past, which means you’ve got no purpose, no passion.

So being present is not having anything left from yesterday, or the day before, or the week before, or the year before, that’s interfering with today, yeah? Now a lot of people focus on the future, I think the wrong way, with worry. Worry is where they’re thinking about it, and that triggers the sympathetic or nervous system.

or their imagination is triggering it. So we take away our motivation by the way we imagine or think. And then what we do is we start to visualize or utilize affirmations to put the left and right brain in sync. Where if we hold our energy, And we can get our energy present. Yeah. Then the, all we have to do then is interpret that energy.

What am I passionate about? So we’re going to use the past at all. We look at the past as in, as a reference of what brought us joy, happiness, what gave us passion, what gave us motivation. And we take that and not. We can sometimes get motivated for others. So there’s the outside and inside world. So yes, I might be happy serving people and doing stuff for people.

And that’s part of who I am. However, I have to harness that energy in the best place of service. So when I, when it’s all put together and you’re utilizing your head, top computer, your left brain as in your thinking ability, your strategic side of your mind and your imagination and creative type part of your mind, and you overlay that on your energy, then you haven’t got to fight with your energy because your energy generates the thoughts and the imagination and your inflow.

So that’s what I do. And that’s why I don’t teach it because it’s more an intuition. So if I take it out of me, it’s no longer in me, which means it’s not intuition. The I N comes off and it becomes tuition. So what I do, The same way I learned with horses. Horses, especially big horses, they make you very present very quick.

And I grew up with horses. And believe it or not, I used to terrify my mum. And I used to do a hell of a lot of horses. I could stand, we had two Irish drafts. They’re big horses. And I used to have a foot on one back, foot on the other, long reins, and go over jumps standing up on their back. Because I had this image of when I was a kid, I was going to go in the circus.

So I had very little fear. But the horses would follow me like a dog would, but what he enabled me to do, horses, you can’t communicate to ’em like a human. So it’s more your energy that communicates. So I learned to be able to transfer or put myself present with a horse where the horse was comfortable. I actually can do it with animals better than I could can with people.

So it taught me at a very early age to be conscious of the feelings I was having because I found if I was scared, that would make the horse scared. If I was riding the horse and I was worried, the horse would be different. Where if I was present and focused and knew what I wanted to do with the horse, that the horse would do anything for me.

But if I had a doubt or I had a different perspective, the horse would be confused. So I learned by whatever I transferred when I was sitting on the horse. Whatever the horse would pick up from me would create confusion in the horse. So I learned from the horse that in a sense if I stop doing that, then I’ll be present, which means I’ll be focused.

Emily Bron: And seeing your love for animals and how it intervenes with your life, it’s really heartwarming. Now I understand more how your four legged friends, especially horses, gave you a fresh perspective on the coaching.

And I believe on life. Can you tell a little bit more about the Transform. Coaching consultant services platforms that you are leading. And I’m curious how it can help to my listeners looking for the invention and midlife?

Lee Tunney: As I said before, I don’t do belief. So if I go back to that moment, when I was a kid and I committed, most people want to believe in themselves.

Yeah. So I’ll start there. They want to believe in themselves. I say that’s impossible. Even though there’s so many books written on it is belief is from present to future and it’s external. So for example What’s your name? Yeah, what is your name?

Emily Bron: Emily?

Lee Tunney: Okay. Do you think your name’s Emily? Is it your opinion?

Your name’s Emily. Do you believe your name is Emily or do you know your name’s Emily?

Emily Bron: Depends on the situation

Lee Tunney: Okay, let me change the question. Is there a ceiling above you or a floor below you?

Emily Bron: Physically, yes, but spiritually, I believe I can.

Lee Tunney: Oh, I get that. I agree. I agree with that entirely. However, what happens is that the feelings we have can control our spirit.

So we can get caught with a thought and that can control our chi energy or our spirit energy. We can get caught in our imagination and our energy gets shattered, fragmented within us. And that’s within us. And then when we communicate, We can affect the energy within others. If we’re not affecting the energy within others, most people would want to motivate or inspire others, which in my world is a form of manipulation.

Be able to talk to the human where they make the decision. So I can believe in you. You can believe in me, but I cannot believe in myself because it says I believe in you, which means I don’t believe in the outside of you. I believe on the inside of you. As in your abilities your character, your integrity.

What does integrity mean outside? It means you keep your word inside. It means that your left brain integrity inside, but everyone is in I N integrity means your left brain. Your imagination, as in your thoughts and your imagination, your heart, gut, as in your physiology, and your spirit, are united. That’s integrity.

However, what most people have there is a thought that thinks one thing, an image that shows something else, their emotions say something else, their gut is in stress or stuck, and their spirit energy is blocked because of all of that. But when we get our left brain aligned with our imagination, or, I’d imagine you do it this way because you’ve got a good energy, is If you got a good spirit energy and you can go to that energy, you can align that and then utilize that spirit energy to align your biology, your emotions your thinking and your imagination.

If we live a life on belief, then it means we don’t know what we want. We just have a very close idea to what we want because if beliefs were true, they’d be called the truth. But in fact, they’re called beliefs are the barriers to the truth. Beliefs are the consequences of us not knowing the truth.

When we know, with every part of our existence, it’s the dawn of our conception, and that’s what our commitment is, then that, because I would say people are max, majestic, authentic creators. So to be a majestic, authentic creator, every part of our existence, our thoughts, our imagination our emotions, our biology, and our chi must be aligned.

But if our energies are caught in the past, then we’re anchored by the past. So that could be because of trauma, or that could be because of mistakes, fear, failure, whatever. Fear is future based, but if our energy’s caught in the past, and some of it’s present and some of it’s in the future, worry, concern, doubt, or vision, mission, if we haven’t aligned our energies and we’ve fragmented it, then we’ve only got a small percentage of us.

That’s pushing forward and when you can, the people that are having it because they say I’m not as motivated as it was because their energy is not focused on what they want to do. It’s more focused in the past with the dread, regret, remorse. So when we align our energy with that spirit, that she, yeah, that’s alignment of self.

Once we’ve aligned self and we decide on the future, as in, we’re going to create the future, the last bit. Is this is where I think people go wrong. I think they make a big mistake like this. It is, I control my breath and my heartbeat, my space, my, my presence in this world, mine. I don’t control my wife and my kids.

I’m in harmony with them. I listen to them. They tell me what they’re going to do, which is future based. If it’s in line with their values and principles, and I feel it’s in line with their future. If not, I will ask them questions. How is that going to serve you? How is that in line with what you told me last week?

And I might ask them then, which one’s telling me the truth? Last week, yourself last week said this, your present self saying this, which one, why did your energy change? Why have you told me one thing last week and something else this week? It means their brains get in the way, see? But when are they going to align it all?

Then we can speak into existence. That’s when we can manifest. That’s when we can attract. But we don’t have the right to control another heartbeat and another breath. That’s where communication, values, principles, empathy, sincerity, integrity, honour all come in. I can express without doubt, fear and insecurity a future.

I can ask, if it aligns with where they’re going, then we’ve got a win. If they’re just jumping on my bus, or I’m pulling them on my bus to get where I want to go, what about them? So it has to be a collaboration of unity, and that’s where it comes to high achievers. High achievers have normally done a lot of work on themselves, and they might be blocked in one or two areas.

People that want to get to high achievers, Their energy might be fragmented, so it’s more a self awareness. Why am I doing this to myself? That’s what most would ask. I wouldn’t ask the why question. Is this what I want for myself? Are these the feelings I’m enjoying? Are these, does this give me passion and motivation?

If the answer is no, then what would, and how can I focus my energy on that? But as soon as we ask the why question, we go back into the past, which means we’re not present. We’re trying to deep dive ourselves to understand or look for memories or experiences that we once had, which means we’ve moved from our life to our past.

Does that make sense?

Emily Bron: Yes, it makes sense. And I’m again thinking and I would digest, there is a lot of information you’re packing in a short time. And I was just thinking that balancing success as you have and bustling family life is not the small feat, especially with 11 children. You have your ability to manage this balance.

It’s truly remarkable. Could you give us glimpse into how you incorporate this experiences into helping your clients to navigate their family dynamic, alongside with reinvention they might go through?

Lee Tunney: And it’s probably the, it’s probably the best question I’ve been asked in a long time. One, I would change the word balance to equilibrium.

Because balance, balance to me, I’m not correcting you, I’m just in my head. Balance to me is a bit like being on a tightrope. I don’t like the feeling that gives me. It’s like I’m spinning plates or juggling. Equilibrium, so A couple of bits and it works for me. First of all, I don’t do it on my own. My wife is phenomenal.

We align goals. I know what her dreams are. I know what her passions are. And so it’s important that there’s a unity. And, but what I think a lot of think what, so with my clients, I’ve had it where. Their business is doing well, but their relationships or their relate with their wife, their partner, their husband, their kids is in the dust dustbin.

I don’t think an entrepreneur can be autonomous unless they can communicate effectively to the ones they love. So if I don’t understand my own children, and that doesn’t mean you don’t have frustration. That doesn’t mean there’s times where you think, why is this happening? Doesn’t mean that. But when you get those moments, that’s what did I miss?

You don’t go into judgment or blame. Because, especially with a child, or a could be an adult, but they’re still your child. You have to be very careful how you ask the question, because they can hear it as disrespect, they can hear it as distrust, they can hear it that mum and dad doesn’t believe in me.

And they hold on to that feeling, it’s not so much what’s said, it’s how they interpret it. And I’m going that way because with a client. A client isn’t I want to know everything about my clients, not because I’m nosy. Relationships, zero to 10. Yeah. Are you in a relationship? No. Brilliant. When? Why haven’t you?

When was the last relationship you had? Five years ago. How did it end? Yeah. Have you been dating? Whatever. No. Cause a lot of people lock that part of their way away. I’m focusing on my business, but what they’re actually doing is compromising life experience and the business. And I’ve got a lot of women clients.

I’ve got I think 80 percent of my clients are women. And one of the things I, I get across to women that serves them very well, and it’s a very awkward, it’s like a knife edge, see, because it can be heard the wrong way, is that some women, don’t hear in a derogatory sense, I’m saying some, yeah, I’m not, I’m saying it.

There’s awareness, I’m not saying it’s disrespectful. When they’ve reached the time in their life when their children go off and, and they get that, they’ve been a very committed mother, a bit like rose, and I’ve seen it with rose as well, my wife, and it and I found it was, and this is where I became aware of it, because it was challenging for her, the kids were growing up, and it was like, and she’d worked very hard, built three businesses with me.

And good businesses. So she’s a good business woman, but I noticed personally that as the kids got older and they were starting to leave, she felt she was losing her spot. And personally, that was a struggle for her not talking bad about her. She’s a phenomenal woman. And then. She jumped into other things that kept her feeling, kept her focus and maybe give her passion.

And when we spoke about it, she said she had a void and I’ve noticed it with a lot of women clients. They have this void in their life and they go all out on business and nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. However, they’re not emotionally autonomous. And they become somewhat disconnected because they’re in, and men do it as well, but I’ve noticed it more in women, but that’s because I work with more women than I do with men.

Is it’s like they put this emotional bit on hold, whether it’s their relationship bit, whether there’s a relationship with the kids, and it’s more a suck it up bit, like they, I have to be strong. And that emotional power women have is so important to business because it gives them their empathy to understand their clients.

And it gives them their empathy to express the clients or to prospects where the client knows they actually care. And because they’ve got this void in their life, because they’re looking to fulfill something within them, and because they’re passionate and they’re empathetic and genuine when they express that to a client, honesty, authentically, it’s not with words, it’s more being congruent. So let me take it into a different scenario. Years ago, a friend of mine, his best man at my wedding. We were talking about this as in about how do you align? And it’s very hard to find the words that explain it. The next day we were out on my lands and we were walking.

He was walking with me. My son was with me and we had a couple of dogs. We were just out for an evening’s walk. And there’s an area up there where we had polytunnels, they’re like netted areas in and there was a pigeon inside the tunnel and we were about 100 foot away And he said I was a pigeon there I said, I know you I said you remember what I was saying to you last night about aligning your energy being present He went yes, I said I’ll show it to you and I walked into the polytunnel With no expectation of catching the birds, the bird was trapped, but flying around an area of about 30 to 40 meters by about, I don’t know, 10 meters, yeah, 5, 15 about 8 meters wide by 30, 40 meters long.

Flying around, flapping off, banging stuff. And I walked in, I had no intention of catching the birds. I didn’t go in with a thought, I didn’t go in with an image, I just went in and was present. And I stood, and all I focused on was my breathing, didn’t even judge anything, and the bird landed at my feet, I bent down, picked the bird up with my hands, held the bird in my hands, not held its wings or nothing, just held it in my hand, opened the door, held my hand out and the bird took off.

To be present or to align that, whether with clients or in life, If you do have to be in the now and choose the future you want. So when it comes to with your children, your family, your clients, whatever, you have to align goals. You have to align energies. Otherwise, somebody’s compromising their energy because we’re the dad or the parent, we might think we have the right to control their energy.

We don’t have that right. We have the right to facilitate them on their journey. That’s the only right. We have the honor of being their guides, not their controller, not their judge and jury. And sometimes if you can get their energy right, they make very few mistakes. Touch wood, I’ve been very, I don’t think it’s luck.

I’ve got 11 kids, no criminal convictions, no alcoholism or drugs or no confusion. Like I’ve had problems with kids, as in arguing and siblings, but I’ve had no, None of what’s in society today, they all seem to know who they are. So when you overlay that, as long as you can communicate with your energy, and you can do that with your clients. When I talk to clients, I ask them what’s important to them. But I then, what’s important to them? They want to tell me it’s a success goal. It’s brilliant. Do you have you got any relationship? Yes. And let’s say it’s a husband and wife scenario. Do you love your wife?

And they go, yes. Scout a zero to ten. Do you love your wife? But at the same time, there’s as much as you did when, now as you did when you got married. Yeah we’re committed to each other. I didn’t ask that. Then I asked, why don’t they? I said, because that’s your energy blocked. That’s your expectations, your judgements getting in the way of your wife.

And that’s the person you share your life with, your bed with. If you can’t unite with your wife, or your husband, or your children, Then you can’t create the future to the level you want and if you blame your wife or your husband or your kids Yeah, that’s more a defense of you, which means your energy is blocked.

To sit down and communicate with them What are they feeling? And they might say I feel unhappy. Why are you unhappy? And it might be because they feel frustrated, which is unhappiness emotion frustrations physical Yeah, so it’s knowing which energy. Yeah, but then when you ask them what it is They want they might tell you they can’t have it because of something that’s happened I can’t do that because I didn’t pass my exam.

I can’t do that because of I never had any of that. I left school at eight and a half years old. So I never learned to judge myself by the certificates I got, or didn’t get. I learned to decide what I wanted, and I never had any reason or excuse that I couldn’t get it. And I was lucky that I could speak to my friends, or If I didn’t know something, I didn’t go and learn it.

I went to somebody who had already learnt it, and I asked them to give me, if you wanted to do this, what would you do? And they would tell me, brilliant, if I follow that, would that get me this? Yes. And if I get stuck, can I come back to you? Yes. So it’s being vulnerable and asking. And then if you get what you want, you have to validate them. You have to recognize them, not necessarily to the world, but through respect and honor, because that person changed your life through their life experience.

So then you might turn around and give a hand up, but they may, if they’re happy where they are and that’s their level of success, you can’t give them a hand up because if you go to give them a hand up, you’re actually disrespecting where they are. So you have to realize where everybody is and what every, what success tastes like to everybody.

And that’s the long winded answer. So it’s just about communication, empathy, and I push people, that I’ll push people through their own internal stuff. The only thing we’re in charge of is the future we’re going to, but if we believe we can’t, we’re not in charge of that. And if I don’t teach my children or I haven’t taught my children that this is their life, they breathe for them, they think for them, then they decide for them.

I’m not, I can’t walk around like a chaperone. So I have to give them the internal skills to make right decisions, to judge situations effectively. So that’s what I do with my clients. Assess. If you’ve got a feeling that, like a gut feeling, yeah, it sounds good, looks good, feels good, emotional, happy about it, it’s getting me excited, that’s my spirit, but my gut’s not in line, you’ve got a problem.

I don’t know whether it’s an outside problem or an inside problem, you’ve got a problem. If you’re not in alignment with your mind, left brain thoughts, imagination, your emotion, your gut, and your spirit, as in excitement, passion, they’re not in alignment. You’ve That’s where your problem is. And all the time you make decisions from alignment, you can get success.

That’s the long-winded answer my friend. Sorry. I dunno how to get it down here.

Emily Bron: I can listen you four hours. And I’m just thinking, how do you recharge your batteries? In the hustle of helping others transform, do you have any self care secrets other than having a conversation with animals?

What kind of routine that keeps you at your best?

Lee Tunney: It’s a very good question. My wife would say, and has said countless times, I don’t have an off button. Yeah. So most times, and I’m 59 now, but throughout my life, it’s changed slightly this year, but it’s roughly the same. I need very little sleep, three, four hours sleep.

Sometimes I don’t need sleep at all. And that’s the God’s honest truth. Yeah. And when I say that, I’ve worked, if my wife’s not in it, but God’s honest truth, I’m not going to say, I’m not saying it out of ego, is I can go two or three days without any sleep. My mum was in and out of hospital last year and a bit of the year before, and she, there was a big transition in my life. I found that exhausting and I could sleep for any country then, but that was because I went into worry. Worry to me is negative manifestation.

I didn’t know what to do. Yeah, in the present, so then because I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what the future was going to be, so that made me worried, or that made me feel fear. More, it’s more love or concern for my mum, but I didn’t know how to help her. And I found that was the only time in my life, since I was about 17, that I never had my energy.

But my normal default is if I’ve got my biology energy aligned with my emotional, aligned with my emotional energy and with my excitement, my cheek, because I know what excites me. So why would you, have you ever, so look at it this way, you go to a party, yeah, it’s on a Saturday night, it’s 3am in the morning, it’s buzzing, the music’s great, whatever.

Do you wanna go to sleep? And then let’s say the party’s over at 4:00 AM and you get home and you’re thinking about the amazing things, the things you’re excited about that you’ve gotta do in the morning. The morning can’t come quick enough. It’s like Christmas. So I look at things like this. I’ve got 11 kids, I’ve had loads of Christmases, and I’ve gonna have loads with them.

But the buzz in our house on Christmas eve, or leading up to Christmas, their energy, very hard to control because they know. That on Christmas morning, there’s a surprise. There’s a lot of things they want that their energy’s attached to. So they’re overexcited. Me, I realized that at a very early age, to me, I put nuggets of things I’m gonna do in my future and when I get, if I get feel like I’m getting tired, I think about what I’m gonna do in my future.

That sparks my Q energy, my excitement, my passion, and that kicks it off. Then I get into action do, which is my biology. So my spirit energy charges my biology. That, then when I’ve got those energies up, that makes me happy when I’ve got my three energies in sync, my mind doesn’t get exhausted. I love thinking, yeah?

And I always work from my energy, I don’t try and hearten. I don’t try and control my energy. I work from my energy. It’s my energy. Whose emotions are they mine? Whose motivation is it? Whose drive? Mine? Who’s passion, purpose, mine? So if it’s mine, I don’t control it, I am it. But a lot of people wanna control their energy.

Like they split themselves. It’s my energy is me. So because it’s me, as long as I am, the words would be in charge of that energy, yeah? I’m not in charge of it. It is me. So everything I do is from that energy. And because of that’s my routine. I don’t do ice baths, not against them. I go walking, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

It’s Phoebe’s birthday pie. So we’ve got friends in that coming. We’ve got big marquee and Rosa’s done flower arrangements and different things. So she’s excited about it. Phoebe’s excited about it. The kids are excited about it. So the energy in the house at the Tomorrow’s a bit like Christmas. But if you understand that feeling Whatever decisions or goals you make, you’ve got to have goals, small incremental goals, that create excitement, that create joy.

Joy is happiness, excitement is spirit to me. Yeah, goals that create motivation. If you can align all those into the same goal, oh, you’re on fire. You don’t need sleep. If anything, three things I don’t like doing, yeah, I don’t like eating, I don’t like sleeping, and I don’t like going to the toilet because they get in the way of what I want to do.

Emily Bron: And my last question.

What you would advise our listeners who are on a stage of the professional or personal reinvention in the midlife?

Lee Tunney: Very good, that’s a good question. What excites you? And bear in mind, what excites you, motivates you, get, so motivation to me is the motor, the biology energy. Drive, that’s where do and action comes from, and that’s where communication comes from.

So what excites you, what gives you passion, that’s your chi energy. What gives you happiness? Decide from that place. I know you’ve got to earn money and preferably a lot of money. Yeah. The more you can harness your energy, your internal currency, and bring it to the outside world, others value it. And when they value it, they’re happy to pay you for the energy you give them.

So first of all, what excites you? What passionate, what you’re passionate about, what gives you joy? What’s your skill set? What can you do better than anybody else? And some people undervalue their skills because skills are what we do or the way we communicate or the way we bring people together. They’re skills if we have awareness of how we do it.

If we, they don’t, people don’t pay you for They don’t pay you for help. They pay you for support. They pay you for systems. They pay you for organization. They pay you for strategy. Yeah. But they don’t pay you for like help. When you, when they want to decide on what they want to do, that’s one bit there.

The second part is what do other people need from you? So it’s all right going out and changing. So if it’s in the speaking world or coaching world or product or service world. What pain can you take away with your product or service of communication? What problem can you solve? Because if you can find the pain, you find the problem and people pay for solutions to problems.

So if you can find a pain that your skillset can take away, especially a hereditary pain. I don’t mean a physical pain, but it could be a physical if you’re a healer. Yeah. Is it has to be something that brings love, joy, and harmony in life, either in your life or within a company or a group or a community.

It has to be something that will enable other people to feel happier, safe, take fear away, stress away, to get, give back time. So if you’ve got, you’re selling horse carriages. Like what’s happening around with Henry Ford was about and you invent the motor car.

Emily Bron: Yes. Yes. We can speak for hours and I believe it’s not our last conversation.

It’s just beginning of the very important serious the, with advices for people being at this stage of life. And I’m so grateful for all your advice for all your actually inspiration giving to me as well as to others. Thank you very much for today conversation. All the best to you and your family.

Lee Tunney: Bye bye.

Lee-Tunney Ware

International High-Performance Personal Development and Business Coach | Business Coach, Mentor & Personal Development Coach

Known for founding “Transform Coaching & Consultancy Services,” I specialize in empowering leaders through tailored coaching, delivering transformative results. Even the most accomplished individuals turn to me for profound insights and strategic guidance. From a young age, I embraced entrepreneurship, starting my first venture at 12. Now, as a coach, I focus on CEOs, trainers, and entrepreneurs who crave substantial outcomes in minimal time. My approach blends deep understanding of human behavior with innovative remote solutions, designed for those committed to achieving their ambitions.

Purposeful Living: Navigating Midlife Changes and Challenges

As we journey through life, midlife often brings the call for reinvention—a chance to find freedom, a new lifestyle, and purpose. On the “Age of Reinvention” podcast, we had the pleasure of speaking with Lee Tunney Ware, a giant in the fields of personal and business development. Lee’s journey from overcoming early struggles to empowering others with actionable strategies offers invaluable lessons for anyone seeking to transform their life.

A Defining Early Experience

Lee’s story begins with a brave decision he made at just eight years old: pulling his older, partially sighted, and autistic brother out of a school where he was being bullied. This courageous moment, driven by pure instinct and a commitment to his brother’s well-being, set the stage for Lee’s future work in coaching and consultancy. It taught him the power of making a decision and sticking to it—a skill he considers his superpower.

Resilience as a Cornerstone

Resilience is at the core of Lee’s philosophy. Drawing from his experience raising four children who became international karate champions, Lee speaks about the importance of helping individuals connect with their inner core, free from external judgments and fears. He uses strategic questioning to help clients unlock their true potential, focusing on what they are genuinely passionate about.

Debunking Success Myths

Lee challenges traditional notions of success that focus on trust and belief. He argues that these concepts can externalize our power, making us dependent on external validation. Instead, he encourages people to align their physical, emotional, and spiritual energies with their strategic thinking. This holistic alignment leads to genuine success, a practice Lee learned from his positive interactions with animals, especially horses.

Achieving Harmony in Relationships and Business

Lee’s success isn’t limited to his professional life. Balancing a fulfilling family life with 11 children and a thriving career, he stresses the importance of harmony over balance. Effective communication and mutual understanding within both personal and business relationships are key. This principle is also instrumental in his coaching, where he helps clients align their goals with their relationships to create a cohesive path to success.

The Path to Personal Reinvention

For those on the path to midlife reinvention, Lee’s advice is clear: understand what excites you and what you’re passionate about. These elements should guide your professional and personal endeavors. He emphasizes the importance of solving real problems for others, whether through products, services, or genuine support. This customer-centric approach not only brings success but also fulfillment.

Self-Care and Sustaining High Energy

Rather than relying on conventional self-care routines, Lee’s secret to sustaining high energy lies in aligning his emotional, physical, and spiritual energies. He believes that excitement about future goals can fuel one’s passion and drive, minimizing the need for conventional rest. By working from his energy rather than trying to control it, Lee maintains a constant state of readiness and enthusiasm.

Practical Advice for Midlife Reinventors

In his final thoughts, Lee advises midlife reinventors to align their professional goals with their intrinsic motivations. This alignment allows for a harmonious approach to both personal and professional life. He highlights the importance of communication, empathy, and goal alignment in sustaining long-term success and fulfillment.

Lee Tunney Ware’s insights offer a profound roadmap for anyone looking to reinvent their life at midlife. By aligning your actions with your deepest passions and effectively communicating your goals, you can create a future that’s not just possible but highly rewarding. Embrace your unique energy, stay connected to your core values, and let your midlife transformation lead you to new heights of success and happiness.